Miaplacidus
by LAIsobel
Summary: What is better than Carter? Smiling Carter! And how to make Carter smile? Oh yeah, he knows... stars can help. What more? Read to find out! Possible sequel to 'Little star' story but can stand alone. Pure fluff in the last 'Christmas' chapter! Enjoy!
1. Sparkling surprise

**MIAPLACIDUS by Isobel**

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><p><em><strong>Author's notes + Timeline + Spoilers…<strong>_

_So at first I just have to apologize. I was fighting a bit of a writer's block these past days… actually well... maybe few weeks. I'm sorry guys. I have so many stories planned – about a ton of notes and ideas written down but it seems like I needed a pause you know? So before I start another bigger story and before I will give you all the promised sequels you had asked me to write, here's something small._

_It's a possible sequel to **Little star named Samantha** story but you don't have to know it. I will repeat and elaborate the important part of the story that had brought this one on in the first chapter. I hope everything will be clear then! :o)_

_I will post this as a multichapter story – each chapter for season, starting with season four, ending with season eight. Some particular episodes might be mentioned a bit but this story is not supposed to deal with the events of those episodes. This story is written as something that could have been part of the show so you might want to know the general contents... more info about episodes directly mentioned in A/N in every chapter.  
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_**Beta:** none so far but I'm sure she'll do her magic later :o) Alia - story is all yours :o)_

_**Dedication: **This is for you, my dear **gatehead81**! Hope it will make you smile! :o)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Sparkling surprise<strong>

It was a freezing day but the sun was shining so it was actually a beautiful day. SG-1 had just gotten back from Arta Ricordi the day before. Jack loved the weather, he really loved the weather. It was making him quite happy. The sun bright and warm and the sky with its absolutely perfect shade of blue… Besides Arta Ricordi was no fun this time. The planet was beautiful, yes. It was one of those he could like but without Carter…? Nope, not so much. Actually he had gotten so used to having her around that being on a mission without her just felt wrong.

But well, having her on this particular planet had been tricky once already. This was definitely better than any possible horrible alternative. She was safe on Earth, surely having fun in her lab. Ha, yeah, he could imagine that.

Finding her father on the base and having the little chat with him, oh that was a surprise as well. Who would have thought that good old Jake could be such a good guy, huh? Oh yeah, he could. Full of surprises! And just a little bit scary.

"_Jack!"_

"_Jacob! Hey… what brings you to this lovely planet?"_

"_I had some things to discuss with Doctor Fraiser and Sam…"_

"_Oh, the research…"_

"_Yeah…" The two men continued walking through the corridors together, both at ease._

"_Fraiser is not here, is she?"_

"_No, but we managed without her…"_

"_And you stayed."_

"_Yeah, I have a few days…" And he sounded really thrilled._

"_So you're gonna spend them with Carter?"_

"_Why…?" And Jake was looking fairly suspicious. _

"_Just asking…" But the look on his face spoke differently._

"_Sure thing…"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_So you are not by any chance planning on surprising my daughter with a birthday party, are you?"_

"_What's the correct answer here?"_

"_Ha…" And he couldn't help it, the chuckle just couldn't be stopped._

"_What?"_

"_Nothing…" But he couldn't stop grinning. It was sometimes so easy to throw Jack off balance._

"_Don't worry, Jack. It's okay. But I'm taking my girl to dinner today so you might want to postpone your party to the weekend."_

"_Understood."_

"_You're gonna bring cake, right?" Jacob asked him then._

"_Cake?"_

"_Yeah, that round sweet thing you love so much? And that just by coincidence is usually part of a birthday party…?" Jacob was making fun of him and they both knew it. So he just couldn't understand why would Jack look so stunned suddenly._

"_Well here's the thing… can I ask you something…?"_

"_Something…?"_

"_Personal."_

"_Oh…"_

_They both stopped in their tracks, looking at each other. Jack knew that there was not a thing for him to say. He needed to wait. This was all up to Jacob. As her CO Jack shouldn't even be asking about this. But he was hoping that Jacob had gotten to know him pretty well during the last year or two. _

_Jacob was thinking about it. He was supposed to tell Jack to go to hell, he knew. But the hopeful look in his eyes, the love shining there behind everything… he couldn't hide it or deny it anymore. Oh yes, Jacob knew about the deep feeling growing between his daughter and her Commanding officer. One part of him was scared about the possible outcome but the other one, guarded by Selmak, couldn't __but smile and hope. Oh and tease, definitely tease._

"_So… what can I do for you, Jack?"_

"_It's … some time ago, on one planet we got … a bit talkative." At that Jacob smirked._

"_Anyway, Carter talked about something from her childhood. It was a… eh… a cake. She mentioned some special cake her mom used to bake for her… any chance you might know the…"_

"_Recipe?"_

"_Yeah…"_

_Jack was getting really unsure of himself. Here he was, standing in the middle of a corridor in a top secret facility, talking to a man carrying an alien in his body, asking him to reveal an old family secret. Suddenly it didn't seem as the best idea ever. What the hall had he been thinking? Asking Jacob. He was ready to apologize and run away when Jacob nodded and asked him for a pen and paper._

"_What?"_

"_Well I can just tell you but you'd have to remember it."_

"_Oh. Yeah. Sure."_

_He looked around and couldn't find anything. Then he tried his pockets. And he found a small notepad there with a small pencil. Oh yeah, he had started to carrying these around some time ago because of Daniel. He would always need a pen and a piece of paper and having none. He gave it to Jacob._

"_You better not screw this up, O'Neill." Oh-oh, the military serious tone… Jack had to swallow. He got just a bit scared._

"_I won't." He didn't hesitate with the answer. Jacob liked that._

"_I surely hope so."_

"_Thank you, Jacob."_

_Jacob just nodded and smiled, partially amused by the way Jack had been squirming. Oh that man was troubles. But there was something about him…_

And so he arranged everything, called everybody and they just planned the whole thing for Saturday.

After talking to Carter in her lab he watched her leave with Jacob. And that was his moment to leave as well. He knew he had few hours to follow his plan.

Few weeks, maybe months ago, he wasn't actually sure anymore, he had been visiting his friend. And he noticed something that could be considered only as the perfect gift for his favorite astrophysicist. He didn't hesitate with the purchase. He knew that giving it to her on her birthday party would be like signing in into a prison for breaking the fraternization rules so he had to figure out something else.

And so here he was. After figuring out what to give her for the Christmas, he had this secret present and along with it he had to think of some … publicly acceptable present. Oh he was so deep in the troubles. But somehow he didn't mind. This was sort of nice. It could mean the prison in the end but well… it was surely worth absolutely everything.

So he found himself on the doorstep of Carter's house with the spare key in his hand. Oh yeah, he had her key. She had his as well. Actually, it was not that unusual among the SG teams. Those people with families were a bit different case, but the rest? They simply had each other's keys, just to be sure. He had never used it before. Well at least now while being alone there. There were times when the spare keys had come in handy for the team members.

But this was the first time he was alone. It felt kind of creepy. But he was a man on mission and he was surely planning on finishing this little trip.

Checking out the surroundings once more and he was ready to go. He opened the door and walked straight to the living room. At first he was thinking about placing the little surprise into her bedroom but somehow that was a bit too much. No, she would probably kick his ass later for doing so. Well, maybe she would tease him and make him squirm and enjoy the torture in that case. She would probably kick him for this anyway. But what the hell…?

So he placed the items onto her table and had to smile. It seemed to be a bit too easy. But maybe he finally got lucky at least once in his life! Anyway he opted for a quick disappearance, just to be sure.

Jacob was having a very nice time with his daughter. Enjoying the conversation and all that was going on. She really seemed to be happy. And he had to be wondering, why? How? But he could be just grateful. After years of living in fear and with something really painful deep in his heart it was simply beautiful and calming to see his beloved child like this. Silently he thanked Selmak for giving him the chance to fix things with his children. And he left no space for arguing. He knew very well that Selmak was one of the main reasons he had finally find the courage to do something about the messed up relationships in his family.

And then the strange grief crossed the features of his daughter when he had told her about Martouf's idea. Their relationship had always been a mystery to him. But after the short moment of sadness she seemed to be really happy and touched by the gift.

"_It was a very good idea to finish our friend's thought, Jacob. Your daughter seems to be really happy…"_ Selmak commented the situation. And Jacob could only agree.

But then everything changed. They got to her place and there was the flower on the table. He freaked out, yeah, he did. The thought of somebody breaking in into her house made his blood boil. And not even Selmak could calm him down. But his daughter just sat down and smiled and almost started to cry in about a minute.

He would always remember the flower. It was a beautiful bright blue flower, like the summer sky, like a clear mountain lake water, something between lily and rose, soft and with a very nice smell.

"Do you know what this is?" She asked him softly.

"I have never seen it before." Both he and Selmak were thinking but they couldn't place the flower anywhere.

"I have… on one planet. I couldn't keep my eyes away, the flower had completely gotten me. And it had no name. Colonel O'Neill told the locals that they could name it after me because I had obviously fallen for it…"

"So…?"

"So this flower is called Samanthia." Jacob's mouth formed a big O then. That was most probably the most romantic thing he had ever heard of. Only naming a star after her could be better... he almost smirked at that. He had this feeling that even that would happen one day. Ha.

"Somebody brought this from that planet and put it into your living room?" And he didn't need his daughter's IQ to figure out whom.

"Yes… " And she knew he would deserve an explanation but she had a pretty good idea about the origin of her present. Little she knew he had the idea too.

She didn't tell him one thing. On their way from the planet she asked her CO why he had suggested her name. And after he stopped trying playing numb he just smiled sheepishly and told her "it's the same color as your eyes when you are excited about something…". And if she knew him at all her guess would be that her CO had brought it for her.

She took the box and opened it. And she gasped. She found a pair of earrings there. She wasn't sure but they looked like being made from white gold. And the little stone there could as well be a diamond. They were shaped as little stars. They were elegant, gentle and very light. They were delicate and absolutely … perfect.

"Wow… Sam… they are beautiful."

"They are… oh yes, they are."

And despite the fact that her hand was shaking, she reached for the note. And she could only smile then. She was near to laughing out loud and to crying as well. Such a mess…

"Sam? What's written there?"

"It says… it says happy birthday lovely little star named Samantha."

"Oh…"

And neither knew what to say. She kept on playing with the box, Jacob was watching her, trying to grasp the situation, to understand it all. But it was very difficult for him. The birthday gift was a small surprise, sparkling and beautiful. And it had gotten to her.

Sam was overwhelmed, shocked, happy and feeling some very inappropriate feelings, having some very inappropriate thoughts. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to fight them or not.

"Sammie? You okay?"

"What?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, dad, I'm fine. Well, no, maybe I'm not… but yeah, I think… I don't know..."

He just glared at her with the "stop messing with me" look in his eyes. She just sighed and leaned back on the couch. In a moment she was laughing softly and crying almost silently. Jacob had no idea about what to do. His daughter was obviously confused and overwhelmed, thinking way too much, still holding the little box.

She looked at him then, knowing she should at least try to explain it to him. She didn't want him to get the wrong impression. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face and she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"Dad…"

"No, shh… you don't have to say a word, kiddo." And he just caressed her cheek. He could smile at her, try to reassure her but he knew there was little he could actually do. She didn't need her father right then.

"Sammie, I'm not going to ask, okay? At least not yet. Right now I think I don't want to know a thing. But… just try to remember that I am not stupid, I am not blind and I am not deaf, okay?"

"Dad…"

"Sam I know it's hard to believe it but I know you, you are my little girl, my daughter. And I know you."

And she could only smile and nod and lean in for a hug. He held her and then after a moment decided to say the last thing he wanted her to know, for now.

"I trust you, Sam. I trust you."

And he was hoping she would get the point. And well, she got it. She held onto him and knew that she had her beloved daddy back in her life. Supporting her, loving her. She was sure he would tease her about this later but right now he was just what she needed – her father.

"I love you kiddo..." He whispered.

"I love you too, dad." She whispered back, surprised by her own emotions.

Jacob got up and was about to walk away but then he stopped dead in his tracks. There was one thing on his mind. He wanted to tell her but was unsure about all the 'ifs'. But then Selmak just nudged him to speak his mind and be faithful to his own heart. And so he turned back and looked at his little girl how she was smiling and crying and trying to survive her own pain mixed with hope and all the other feelings she had to be feeling.

"Sam… if there is a person on this planet … or in the universe, that deserves to know why you hadn't joined the NASA, the real reason behind it, it's the one who gave you the earrings, the one that knows your favorite childhood story and that can understand... completely." He knew he had emotions in his voice but for once he was not ashamed of it.

"Dad…"

"Good night."

And so he left her there. Thinking.

In less than 24 hours she had experienced something incredible. Her friends had showed up with cake and presents. And she loved the presents, all of them. Especially the set of one huge map of the Stargate System and fluorescent paint she got so she could have it somewhere on her ceiling. That was really really cute. ,

Oh and what was even better? The man she had fallen in love with against all the odds and risks brought her the cake her mom used to bake for her when she was a kid. Besides, maybe as a birthday present, her father did something. He gave her one unique chance to talk to her CO … sort of in private.

It was actually a brilliant idea. Everybody was gone. And Sam needed to talk to O'Neill. She really needed it. And then her father simply told Daniel to let people on the base know that he was staying over at his daughter's place. He went to bed and so Sam found herself alone with her CO. And they both knew they could talk because nobody would ever dare to accuse them of anything inappropriate. Her father was there after all!

So she spent the evening on the couch with one and only Jack O'Neill, talking to him, confessing to him to one of her darkest secrets. It was one of the few things she had always been very ashamed of. Why she hadn't joined the NASA back then? Oh, she had a reason. And now he knew.

And as her father had told her before, Jack was simply understanding. She was worried that he'd be judging, he'd be annoyed, disappointed, something… anything… but no, he was just there, supportive, completely understanding and… he was simply there for her. She could have never hoped for more.

Sometimes during the talk, well, more like her monologue, he'd shifted on the couch and so she ended up in his arms, leaning against his side with her head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck. After all had been said from both sides, she just snuggled closer and tried to rest for a moment. She had almost fallen asleep then. But there was one last thing on her mind.

"Oh… and thank you for the earrings, they are perfect."

"Glad you like them, Carter."

"Eh... nope. I love them."

"Even better..."

"When you ask me out one day, I'm gonna wear them."

And with that she just nuzzled her face into his neck and fell asleep. Jack, on the other hand, was quite awake. Hearing her talk about personal issues and memories was one thing. But hearing her saying things like 'when you ask me out' was something completely different. And took all his willpower not try to imagine her wearing just those earrings.

He wanted to leave but somehow managed to fall asleep as well. For once in his life he felt too comfortable to just get up and go. He knew it was dangerous, he knew it would cause troubles and lots of unnecessary thinking later but well… for once he obviously let his heart decide what to do.

Neither would be able to understand in the morning how they managed to fall asleep like that. Usually they would be more careful. After an hour or two they would usually be up and he would leave and she would go to sleep... not like this. They had never done something so reckless. But somehow this time… it happened. It just did.

When Jack woke up, Sam was curled up to his side and he was more than just holding her close. They shifted during the night, he was lying on his back and she was actually more on top of him then next to him. Immediately this morning had become one of his most favorite ones. Sleeping Carter in his arms, her hair going crazy, her crumpled clothes and the soft occasional snorts. Oh he was a happy man. She was so warm and somehow soft in his arms. He could feel the emotions running through him, enveloping him, calming and beautiful.

Then the reality set it. He was sleeping with Carter on her couch in her house with her father being there. Her father! Oh.

Sam knew that she surely had been dreaming something really nice. When she woke up, she felt absolutely incredibly loved and secured. Oh what a dream she must have had. She decided to stay asleep for a bit longer, not really willing to face the reality. Not yet. Enveloped in the warmth was way better than getting up.

She closed her eyes and then felt the couch move. And then the couch kissed her hair. And caressed her skin. The surreality of it hit her like a truck. She dared to look up then and saw the most handsome face ever. Jack. She could just smile at him then.

She could tell that she was about to start panicking but then the rest of the events came. She had the birthday party. And they talked. And obviously fell asleep.

"Hey…" He said suddenly.

"Hey…" She could do nothing else but respond. She was a mess, wasn't she?

"Slept good?"

"Think so…"

"Carter… not that I want to destroy this perfect and only a bit weird moment we're having because I kinda like it but I should probably go.."

"It's okay, Sir. My father's here, nobody would dare to accuse us of anything… Besides I'm sure it's still early. It had to be early… Honestly, I really don't want to get up, not just yet... Sir."

"Repeat the beginning to yourself, Carter…." He knew she had to understand. But on the other hand, staying there with her sounded pretty good as well.

"The beginning? Well, as I said, my father's here…. Oh… OH!" Her eyes were wide in shock then.

"Yep."

They both sat up then. Slowly. Reluctantly. She seemed to be so nicely embarrassed that he could hardly believe it. But on the other hand he felt like an idiot. Did he really just …fell asleep? What the hell was wrong with him? But oh man… wasn't she the best thing to see in the morning?

Even although he knew he should be getting up and leaving in a hurry, he couldn't make himself to do so. For the next few minutes they were just sitting there, both trying to grasp the events and analyze the situation. Then she kissed his cheek and very quickly left him sitting there.

And Jack understood. This was out of line and so damn beautiful that he really had to go. So he just wished her a good day and left. So in the end only the last few minutes were embarrassing and weird. That was good. It could have been much worse.

Jacob hadn't said a word in the next two days. Things were quite okay between Sam and her CO. Thankfully. Actually, nobody said a word. Daniel was smiling at them strangely for a few days but nothing else. So the little evening talk had actually gone well.

Only then Jack found an envelope in his office. He opened it and the picture that was inside made him sit down. It was one perfect picture of Carter sleeping in his arms. It was obviously taken on the Saturday evening, after they had fallen asleep. It was amazing that she could fit into his arms like that. Like she had always belonged there…

Then it hit him. He was so so so much in troubles. There was only one person that could have taken it. Jacob Carter. D'oh!

Sam got the picture as well. She knew that her father would tease her about it pretty soon but somehow she couldn't care, not just yet. She just smiled and locked the picture in a very safe box she kept in her closet. She was sure nobody would ever be able to find the box. And so she had her most personal things there… those she wasn't actually supposed to have, yet to love and cherish.

At first she wanted to put the earrings there as well but then decided against it. Nobody could tell who had given them to her. So she put them into her drawer, right next to the jewellery she had after her mom. They belonged there anyway.

She wanted to throw away the note but couldn't do it in the end. So she opened the box again, found the picture of her sleeping peacefully in the arms of man that had given her the earrings and the note and put it there. Somehow it belonged there, all together.

She knew this all would mean troubles later… but she would deal with them then - later. She took the earrings out again, she just had to try them on. And when she did, she had to admit that they were indeed perfect. Sparkling, beautiful, elegant and … from _him._

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><p><em><strong>AN:**__ So if you are wondering about the 'childhood story' bit – read the Little star story, it's all there :o) You know from this chapter what's important from the Little star for this story! :o) Chapter 2 should be up soon, we'll see ;o)) And hey - any ideas how exactly could the earrings look like? Don't be afraid to share them! Links for pictures welcomed :o)) Just put some spaces in between or some brackets or stars or something... you know how it works :o))  
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	2. Apology

_**Little personal note** - condolences to all people that had ever lost somebody in a plane crash... I am sorry guys, so so much. My thoughts are with you. Now more than ever. :'o((  
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><p><strong><em>AN - Episodes mentioned -_**_ The Sentinel, Meridian, Revelations, Redemption, Descent and tiny little reference to Frozen_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Apology<strong>

Daniel knew that he was supposed to go home and try to get some sleep but there was something he had to deal with first. As he knew Jack, he would still be in the gym or either hiding somewhere. Luckily for him, he had already found all Jack's hiding places.

He really needed to talk to him.

After his years in the SGC he had already figured out what to bring when he wanted to talk to Jack. So on his way he stopped by the commissary and picked two bowls of jell-o and slice of pie. Everybody knew that Jack liked pie. Not so many people on the other hand could tell that he had also fallen for jell-o. It was one of _those _things.

Everybody had _these_ things that would help to deal with a particularly difficult mission. And Daniel knew that this one, to Lantona, was a difficult one. Losing SG-9, getting caught and almost killed by the jaffa, the whole communication fiasco and two other people dead could be considered as a very difficult mission. Not to mention some obvious personal issues that had resurfaced and remained unspoken of. Luckily they managed to save the planet but they had lost all the possible contact. On their way home they had to promise not to ever come back. And this time they all knew that this promised would be kept.

Daniel sighed. He so didn't want to think about all that. There was one thing, much happier thing, to be dealing with now.

He found Jack at the third possible place. He closed the door behind himself and without saying a thing just sat down into the corner next to him. The old bed moved strategically so they could prop up their feet on it was a good idea. Daniel noticed the yo-yo placed in his friend's hand and had to grin a bit despite all the odds. Some things about Jack O'Neill were just … so damn crazy. But he had to admit, they all had sort of grown on him. Jack was his best friend.

Now he had to smirk. Who would have thought, huh? But it was the truth. Of course that he had other friends but Jack was the best friend. Daniel knew that it was the same for Jack and he also knew that this simple fact meant something. Jack was not the guy to have best friends. And yet here he was. And yes, he could doubt it… after all he would most probably never come to him to talk or something like that… but here he was.

Daniel knew where to find him, he knew what to bring him and he knew that he would be there with his yo-yo, staring at the wall, at the small strip of light coming from the little space above the door. He offered him the jell-o and Jack took it without saying a word. He knew he didn't have to say anything.

Jack was a private man. And sometimes he needed a little place to hide. Daniel had discovered them all long ago. And he knew that Teal'c knew about them as well. Luckily the big guy would just wait and then confront him somewhere else. Daniel used to be asking questions, he used to be trying to get him to talk… but not anymore. He would just be there and they would just sit and stare together, play with yo-yo, sometimes play cards and sometimes they would just leave the mountain, get a beer and so… It actually felt good to have a friend.

Sometimes it was difficult to have Daniel as the best friend. There were things Jack didn't want him to understand or to know at all. It used to feel strange but not anymore. Now he was able to admit that he cared for the archeologist that used to drive him crazy. Well he was still driving him crazy. Anyway, somehow Daniel had understood that there would always be things that Jack would never admit, say out loud or share with him. And he could name it only as overprotective. But it was actually cute. Jack was glad that Daniel had stopped asking questions about those things. It was getting harder and harder to stay silent and not to confess.

Then there was Carter. Thinking about Carter would always end with headache, heartache and desire to run, get drunk, resign and do something stupid and reckless. He knew that she knew about his hiding places as well. She most probably knew even about the only one Daniel hadn't managed to find so far. Jack knew she knew. Somebody had miraculously disabled the camera in there and also updated his access code to the panel. But she had never followed him there. She knew him that well.

Being here in this room meant that he hadn't been in such a desperate need of some solitary. No, he knew that he was just being stubborn and himself. Besides sometimes Daniel would need to talk… then he would usually try to find him, get him to talk and then end up talking himself. So Jack was actually hiding in the sake of their friendship.

He smirked then, laughed a little. It was incredible what his strategic military head could sometimes come up with. Really. He decided to blame it on the time he was spending with scientists. And aliens.

"So… how late it is?"

"Don't know."

"Don't know?"

"Actually, don't care…"

"Actually… me neither."

"Listen, Jack… there's one thing I wanted to talk about."

"Work related?"

"Sorta…."

"Sorta? What kind of answer is that?"

"It's about Sam…"

"Daniel, I swear, if you are going to ask anything about…." And he would never understand where that had come from. Luckily, Daniel didn't let him finish.

"Nope."

"What?"

"It's about her birthday."

"Birthday?"

"Yep."

"Oh…. Yeah, birthday."

"I know there's still time to plan everything… but I talked to Cassie and she had this amazing idea about a birthday party."

"By birthday party you mean actual birthday party or are we talking about some movie-marathon, lots of eating and desk games … oh and cards?"

"Where's the difference?" He asked, big smile on his face.

"You are a bad influence."

"Tsss… look who said that…" Daniel shot back. And Jack had to admit, he was right.

"So… you are planning a birthday party?"

"Yes. We don't want anything big because … well she doesn't like that. Maybe Jacob will be able to make it, he, of course, doesn't know yet, but … you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you wanna know what it is so you can join us?"

"Okay Daniel, fill me in. But if your words have more than four syllables…"

"Smartass…"

Jack tried to pretend being offended but couldn't actually keep it up. Soon they were talking quite easily about the planned birthday party. They had lots of time to finish everything. And it would be pretty good in the end. Jack knew that Carter would be thrilled about some things and he would have to try to talk his friends out of some…. cause it was obvious that she would hate those. But he had time to take care of that.

He thought that it would be all but Daniel had another question prepared for him.

Daniel knew that Jack would most probably just shrug it off and leave him there but maybe he would be lucky and Jack would give him an actual answer. Well, he could hope. He wasn't stupid. He knew about all those small things Jack had done through the years. He knew about the flower he had given Sam the year ago.

Well he had been surprised back then, sure. While they were leaving the planet, one of the locals had stopped him and asked him about the real reason why the flower should be named after the blonde woman. Daniel had really difficult time trying to explain. As he knew Jack, he had been thinking about something while suggesting they should name it after Sam. Then he took a look and saw them standing there together, hands resting on the guns clipped to their vests, talking. Jack said something back then and Sam grinned at him. And then he understood. And so he told the man about the resemblance between the color of the flower and eyes of one certain person.

He was surprised to see SG-4 bringing the flower among other samples back that Friday. But he could only wait and see what the outcome would be. And then he noticed the flower in Sam's house and could only smile. Jack could sometimes be really cute.

So he knew for sure that Jack had already figured out what to give her for her birthday this year. He just wanted to know what!

"Any ideas yet?"

"For?"

"What to give her, Jack."

"I'm not sure… what are you guys planning?"

"Hmmm so let's see… Teal'c said something about a surprise."

"Hmph…"

"I know… well, Cassie and Janet are planning on something girly… guys from the lab want to give her some new tools and one of the things she's missing to finish the bike she's sorta building."

"That's nice."

"Yeah, I agree. I didn't have a chance to talk to Jacob yet. And General Hammond suggested that I should keep my nose out of his presents."

"They got you."

"I know."

"So what do you have for her?"

"You remember the day on P2 … something when we talked about the childhood stories? She said she used to have this fairytale book."

"Yeah, she told us some of the stories… whatever was in that drink made us talk a lot."

"Don't remind me… " And Daniel had to feel a bit embarrassed again. Telling the guys about some of the not so pretty things from his childhood and high-school years was very … humiliating. Truth, they were talking about practically the same things but geeez….

"So I found the book. It's in the edition she had talked about… with the original cover and the ornaments around the page numbers."

"Wow, Danny… that's pretty good! She's gonna love that one…"

"So what do you have for her?"

"Nothing special…"

"You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"Of course not!" And they both knew that.

"So?"

"It's not that easy, Daniel."

"Of course it is. She is your friend. She has birthday. You give her a present."

"Not the one I would want to…" Jack uttered just like that, silently. But Daniel had heard him. He knew how to push his friend's buttons by now… hopefully Jack would just tell him.

"Look I had a present for her, okay? But I can't give it to her."

"I wasn't asking."

"Yeah… sure…" and the irony there was palpable. He wasn't asking very loudly, huh?

"Why can't you give it to her?"

"Come one… you know how it is."

"Celebrating birthdays must be okay even with the Air force rule book."

"Daniel…"

"Sorry…."

"Nah, that's okay. Look, I think I have an idea. But I gotta think it through."

"You're opting for secret surprise present and officially acceptable one again?"

"What? How do you…?" He was really shocked.

Daniel didn't even bother with answering. The look he was giving his friend was speaking for itself. Yeah, he knew him that well. Jack could only suppress the grin then. Of course Daniel had figured it out. Hopefully he hadn't figured out the rest of it.

They knew that they should get up and leave the room before somebody would notice the door being unlocked, slightly opened and what more, anybody could hear them. Jack finished his pie and silently they left the room. Even secret base could have a secret hiding place. Yep, it was good.

At home Jack had to think about it, of course. Finding the originally planned present hidden among his very private things made him go visit places in his mind he hadn't visited in a very long time. Why everything had to be that complicated?

He knew that they had agreed that till the war would be over, they would stay like this, try to keep the status quo in place. They knew they had to be careful not to slip. Not because their careers and lives would be at stake but more because slipping would mean losing sanity and it would be like tasting something that had been forbidden since … ever.

So he put the box back where it belonged and went to his living room. He had a phone call to make. He had a friend to call and a favor to ask. Hopefully he would manage. He had to. It was about Carter's birthday after all!

"_Montgomery."_

"Hey, it's Jack."

"_Hey! How are you?"_

"Fine, can't complain."

"_Not even about your knees?"_

"Naaah, not even my knees."

"_Wow, that's new…"_ His friend could tease him as well as Jack could tease him back. Old friends would usually have this ability.

"I wanted to ask you to do me a favor."

"_Hmm… what can I do for you?"_

"I need your help, your skills and talented hands."

"_Huh... what for?"_

"Present..."

_"You know, I'm pretty busy but you know that I can always find time for you."_

"It's for someone special, someone I care about." And it surprised him how easily he could admit it. It made him smile.

_"In that case I will find time for you." He knew that if Jack was saying 'someone I care about' that it had to be something... somebody important to him. And he was his friend so of course he would find time to help him out!  
><em>

"There's no rush..."

"_So… you're gonna stop by?"_

"Saturday okay?"

"_Sure thing. Should I tell Kate to bake the raspberry pie you like so much?"_

"Tell your lovely wife that I will bring her the supplies she asked about last time."

"_She's gonna be thrilled."_

"Yeah… and she still can bake the pie…"

They ended the phone conversation with few other jokes, both at ease, as old friends could be. Jack knew that Ryan would help him out. He had the perfect gift for Carter on his mind… he just needed a bit help with it. And Ryan would help. Especially when it was going to be such a challenge. His wife would try to get some information from him, he knew that. So as he saw it, he had time till Saturday to figure out what to tell her.

Everything went well and soon there was another mission planned. While leaving, nobody could have known that this mission would be one of those that would change their lives like forever.

At first it all sounded so beautiful. Some new technology, lots of old technology, unknown mineral and the name, Kelowna. As Daniel told them, Kelowna on Earth was a marvellous place. Irony, huh?

Losing Daniel was one deep cut in their hearts. The pain was too big for them to deal with it. Cassie was crying almost constantly. Janet was like a ghost, just existing but not living. She wasn't actually even surviving. She just was. Some of the people from the base had brought flowers to Daniel's office. Daniel Jackson was dearly missed.

Nobody could tell the difference between being dead and ascended. He wasn't there with them anymore and nothing could change that. So yeah, he was being missed, dearly, constantly.

Teal'c and Jonas could find help in talking to each other. It was one of the strangest things for them but it was surprisingly working.

General Hammond allowed them all some time before trying to bring the base back to full life. But with pain in his own heart it was difficult on him to be a grieving man, understanding commanding officer and in the same time running the whole base.

Sam was grieving at home or at her lab… or at Daniel's lab. The rumour mill was busy discussing her reaction to this whole thing. And sometimes they were getting pretty close. She didn't like it. She actually didn't know how to deal with everything. She needed help. She needed a friend to talk to. But Janet was a mess herself and Daniel was the reason of all that. She had to wonder about his relationship with Janet. Her reaction was … drastic. Sam knew how it felt to lose a friend. She knew how it felt to lose Daniel after all… She hated herself for not being able to be there for Janet when she needed her. But luckily they both knew the other needed space and time. It hurt anyway.

The worst case was Jack O'Neill. He was used to losing man. He was used to losing friends. He was used to losing family. All would leave scars on his soul and marks on his heart. He knew that, he had been put through all of that before. But losing Daniel was different. It was even worse than years ago. Back then it was terrible, thinking that he had let him out there and he died… thinking about fire and water and dead friend. But this was worse.

And so there was tension and awkward silence and many other things hanging in the air. Hammond knew that at this rate his base would collapse soon. His best people were so overwhelmed by emotions that he couldn't be sure about their abilities. Well of course he knew they would never fail him but he knew the feeling of losing somebody close to your heart.

He could see the struggle among those that used to work with Doctor Jackson the most. And frankly, it scared him to see SG-1 being in such a… shape. He knew that those people could overcome anything and everything, he had learned through the years to trust them, to rely on them, he knew that those four would always find a solution and surprise him. But suddenly one of the key elements was missing and he could see the pain and desperation settling in.

Sending SG-1 to a mission was both the best and worst possible idea ever. They managed before just right after losing Daniel but then they parted. There was no team night, nothing. They just parted. And it broke his heart all over again to see them like that. Then the whole Anubis thing happened and he thought that it would bring them closer. But then he got the news about certain canceled birthday party. And he knew that they still weren't okay. So sending them to another mission seemed like a good idea. He knew that with Jonas Quinn as the fourth member their chances were better than before but he also knew that his people were still having some serious troubles with accepting the death of Doctor Jackson. It still seemed strange to see them all geared up and ready to go without him. But somehow he could get used to seeing Jonas there with them.

Jack couldn't believe any of it. Having another alien on his team was crazy. Damn crazy. He knew that he was still fighting his own battles of pain and guilt over Daniel's … fate. And he was glad that the Ha'tak appeared on the orbit. Maybe it would help them all to be a team once again. They needed something to … become SG-1 again. He could tell that even after they managed to save the Earth, they still were more co-workers than friends. And he hated that. The tension was there, all the pretending and pregnant silent moments. He just really really didn't like that... so being on this particular mission seemed like a good thing to him. He ha deicided some time ago that he would do something to break the tension, that he would get his team back. There was no way he was willing to let it all go. He could picture it easily, in a few months, maybe half a year, they would parted definitely. And that was simply not an option. Not now. Maybe not ever.

But well, everything had to go wrong, huh? And suddenly he found himself in a very small space, trapped with Carter, with the water rising rather quickly. And he knew that they would die there. He could focus only on the woman there with him, about a million thoughts running through his head. One part of him was glad that she was the one to be there with him and the other one, much more powerful one, was pretty angry that she would die there with him. Especially like this. And especially now when he had finally gathered enough courage to fix the broken friendships.

Before he managed to process it, they were saved. And he just knew that this was yet another chance he was given by life to make things better and to settle some others.

Seeing Sam there and then with Jacob, he understood some other things. And this strange insight made him decided to do what he should have done a long ago. And truth to be told, even seeing Jonas made him understand and see some new possibilities and scenarios.

He knew he had hurt Carter, he knew that when he was supposed to help, he had failed her. And he knew that they were really close to dying practically on every other mission and after losing Daniel he just didn't want to leave any bridges broken. No, he would mend them and make things right. And then, maybe, just maybe, Carter would smile at him again. She was smiling, of course she was, but not as she used to.

Back on the base Sam went to her lab early in the morning. She couldn't sleep. Besides her dad had left them just few hours ago and she missed him. She had to be doing something. And there would always be something to be done in her lab. Actually, things seemed to be settling back into a routine, she felt calmer and more focused again. Time could really help and heal, right? And her lab would always be her place, her kingdom. She loved the place.

This time, however, she found a box and envelope there on her table. She knew she hadn't left it there before leaving... so somebody had to put it there. She closed the door behind her because she recognized the box then. It was the same design, the same blue, the same material as the one she had in one of her drawers in her bedroom, right next to her mom's jewellery.

She sat down and with shaking hands opened the envelope.

"Happy birthday! I haven't forgotten, don't worry. Really, I haven't. I was just being an ass… I'm sorry. Forgive me? Please? Make-up jello and talk later? Don't let me beg…"

There was no signature but she knew who had written that. There were not many people still writing by ink-pen. And his handwriting she would always recognize. She placed the note back to the envelope and took the box into her hand instead. There was a pretty ribbon over it. She unwrapped it and opened it.

"Oh my God… oh my… Holly Hannah!"

She didn't manage to suppress the grin and tears. She was just… surprised. Overwhelmed. Happy. She didn't know. She wanted to jump and run and scream and laugh and cry, all at once.

There was a bracelet in the box, carefully placed, shining and delicate. There were small pendants attached to it. And other ones were placed in the box. She could add some or take some away. It was perfect. There were little stars, similar to those she had gotten last year. So this bracelet was matching the earrings. It was beautiful. Breathtaking.

When she took a closer look, she gasped. Among the pendants there was one that looked like the symbol of Earth from the Gate. Then another one looking as her wings, one that looked like a bike and then the last one, carefully hidden, looked like a heart. All small and delicate, decorated with little stone. Her guess would be a diamond but she could have been wrong.

She felt silly but she just had to think about it. It all together could mean only one thing. There was only one man that would give her stars, heart, bike, symbol from the Gate and give her the chance to pick those she wanted to have there and also the chance to change them whenever she wanted.

Yeah, he was being an ass. But she could understand it. He was asking for forgiveness. And he was apologizing. He really cared about her deeply. She felt something warm spreading through her veins and something tugging at her heart.

She placed the box into her bag and took it home then. She just had to see the bracelet next to the earrings. She was missing words to describe the feelings and the view itself.

Few days later she was getting ready for the surprising mission to Antarctica. She was thrilled to go and yet… Jack visited her in her lab then.

"So, getting ready?"

"Yeah…"

"I thought you would be more thrilled…"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Sir."

"You? Disappoint me? Never." Yep, he still knew how to make her smile.

"It's just that…."

"It's Antarctica."

"Exactly."

"Don't worry… I have extra clothes packed, some extra supplies and I am not leaving without taking a GPS locator with me. I'm also planning on stealing some extra thermo-blankets…"

"Cool because I have already packed some more batteries, lights, some of ... my tools, oh and extra warm and large sleeping bag."

"I like the way you think, Carter."

"Yes, Sir..." She was grinning by then.

"So, we're gonna share, huh?" And the way he said it almost made her blush.

"But this time you're the one to climb up…"

"Ha…"

Well, she could make him smile as well. They had it in themselves, they could tease each other, have fun, whatever.

Sam wanted to finish another conversation. She took a deep breath and looked at her CO.

"By the way, Sir…"

"Yeah?"

"There might be no jell-o on Antarctica but well… what do you say about rain-check after we get back?"

She would never forget the way how his eyes lit up, the smile on his face becoming brighter and warmer. She made him happy then. And that made her proud… and happy as well. It scared her a bit as well but she was already used to that.

"And I know we're actually not talking about it but if it means anything, you are forgiven. And … I'm sorry as well... And thank you, thank you so much."

"Carter…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

And she smiled at him and nodded. This was so damn difficult. Jonas found them standing there in her lab, grinning at each other, gazes locked, only few minutes later.

And so they left. Official as a team. Not juts co-workers but friends. In a team. They could all tell the difference. It was just there... and it felt good.

And Antarctica was cold and not pleasant at all. Nobody commented the extra luggage, only Jonas asked about it. But Teal'c in his own unique way told him not to think about it because that was the matter of past experiences and many private jokes between the two officers from the team. That confused Jonas even more. And made Jack and Sam blush and smile.

Before they got ill, before everything went to hell once more, Jack was enjoying the way his team worked together, he was glad and happy and especially the way Carter was smiling was warming his heart. Apology could really be powerful, huh? Little voice in his head added 'and diamonds, they can be powerful too' but he knew that in this particular case the apology was the key, not the present. The present was … just a little bonus. Lovely one indeed. But still... he was sure that the apology did the trick.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** I hope it wasn't too much... I know they appeared rather fine after Revelations but I just figured they would be struggling a bit longer... besides I needed them to struggle, evil me... I just liked these particular episodes - they seemed to fit this chapter perfectly. Other opinion? Lemme know... _

_I know I know… there might be a question about the time. So in Sentinel, Meridian and Revelations there was nothing to suggest the time of year. In Redemption there was a hint but I decided to understand it as a weather from early December - mild winter, no snow... Ha :o) So then Sam could have had her birthday... and they could all be a bit off from the whole Daniel / Jonas thing. And then in Decent we can be anywhere past December - you can settle for early spring if you want to :o) And the small hint about Frozen - there is no time specification either so it can all fit, huh? :o)  
><em>

_And during writing this chapter I noticed some deep moments worth more than just few paragraphs. So yeah, I might be planning on writing more separately about some particular moments if you are interested - Jack/Daniel friendship, reactions to some of the mentioned missions... and I think there will be more wasted potential in the following chapters. So ideas are welcomed and dearly appreciated! :o)  
><em>


	3. Distance

_**A/N:** Hana CZ – I know you have already guessed probably everything but I hope you will be at least a bit surprised though :o)_

_**Episodes mentioned** - Paradise Lost, Metamorphosis and tiny references to Frozen, Abyss and Divide & Conquer.  
><em>

_**And note to all of you** - I actually had to re-think the whole chapter after re-watching some of the episodes – the weather just wouldn't add up to my planned timeline! So… a little bit different than it was supposed to be but I hope you're gonna like it anyway. And no, I don't know how it happened and why this chapter is so long… Whoops… And still no beta - maybe later guys... Anyway - enjoy! :o)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Distance<strong>

Jack O'Neill knew that sooner or later another mission would surely go south. But this? Really? Universe had to be joking! Someone or something up there somewhere had it bad for him.

He found himself suddenly on a planet with no living soul. Well, with one. With Maybourne. That was just simply impossible! He had to admit that this was probably one of his worst possible nightmares coming true. Instead of shooting that guy and letting him slowly die on some planet on the other side of the universe he found himself here, with him. Irony, huh?

Those few weeks there had been difficult. Finding the corpses, all the hallucinations, the crazy behavior, all together it created a mess. One huge mess. But there was one thing a bit worse actually. He had always liked being alone but during the last few years even this changed. Being alone for a few days was okay with him. But a month? That was a bit too much. Especially here!

Of course it had to change… he hadn't been alone for more than a week through that time. Okay, with few exceptions. But still. His life was different now. He was different. Better. Definitely better. He got so used to the company of his team, friends that being without them could be really strange. Sure that they were not together all the time but for most of it. And when they were separated, he was usually pretty soon looking forward to seeing them again.

Being alone for a month? His mind was taking him to places he had never wanted to visit anytime soon. And it sucked. It made him face some events, memories, guilt and feelings, thoughts he was not even supposed to have. He could only consider it as dangerous. He knew that his team would find him and get him back. He knew that. He believed that. It was all just a matter of time, right? Oh God it had to be.

The last few months had been … difficult. Very. One little summarization told him all he needed to know. Getting ill, almost dying, becoming a Tok'Ra, almost dying again, getting kidnapped and being captured and that was just the beginning. But he could live with that, he had been trained to after all. He couldn't just fully accept some things that had happened during that time.

And now on this forsaken planet he had more than just enough time to think about them. All of them. And one in particular. The one that had been occupying his mind for quite some time now. It seemed to him she was somehow connected to everything that had happened in his life in the past years. And he should mind, he should be worried, angry and trying to figure out how make all of those feelings and memories go away but somehow he was actually pretty satisfied with his life. Of course, having the chance to be with the woman he somehow fell in love with would be a good start but he couldn't be asking for that much, huh?

It had been long time since he accepted the fact that he really was in love with her. And that it was not a feeling that would go away. He tried to forget, to get over her but he couldn't. Besides after some time he realized that he didn't want to. She was the reason why had become a better person, she saw potential in him. At first he was ready to bury it deep down and pretend it had never happened. But then the impossible happened and he had to deal with the fact that she loved him back equally as much as he loved her.

It was strange and it was by all means wrong. They both knew that. They never talked about it. They had to face those feelings many times though. And not all of those situations had been under friendly circumstances. He would never forget about those times of silent staring conquests, arguments, tension and embarrassment. No matter what in the end they would just either at least try to talk or simply have jell-o or cake together, he would crack a joke, she would smile, he would say something stupid and she would smile some more.

Everytime after a tough mission, after some real troubles or some painful experience Jack would promise himself to set things right with her. And sometimes it felt like she was promising herself the same course of action. Sometimes it would work out and sometimes not. However, he had decided some time ago that he would use the first possible opportunity to talk to her about everything and just try to fix whatever had been broken.

Yeah, and now here he was, on a deserted planet, having his birthday alone, thinking about all those things he hadn't managed yet.

Jack found himself sitting by the fire with head in his hands, thinking about his friends, his team, about Cassie and about Carter. He was actually more worried about them than about himself. They were probably worried sick by now. Oh he would have to make it up to them.

Little he knew that by the time he was thinking about them, Sam was crying on Teal'c's shoulder in the locker room.

Teal'c actually didn't want to go there but somebody made him. Doctor Fraiser. She met him at the corridor and talked to him, worried about her best friend.

"_Teal'c."_

"_Doctor Fraiser. How can I help you?"_

"_Not me…"_

"_Major Carter." Obviously he didn't need to think about it._

"_Yes… I'm worried about her, Teal'c. She's distracted and sad and you know her, she keeps on saying she's fine and all but she's not."_

"_I am aware of that fact."_

"_It reminds me of those horrible three months when the Colonel had been trapped on Edora. She worked so hard that it almost destroyed her. She was beyond exhausted and I'm afraid that …"_

"_That it will happen again."_

"_Yes."_

"_You wish me to go and talk to her?"_

"_Please. She won't talk to me… maybe she will talk to you. Please."_

_Teal'c was looking at her for a moment, trying to decide what to do. It was not his place to interfere. But Doctor Fraiser was right. He still could remember the last time O'Neill had been missing for such a long time. And now as before they couldn't be sure about O'Neill's well-being._

_Besides, he too was worried about Major Carter._

"_I shall try."_

"_Thank you."_

_She kissed his cheek and quickly left. He remained standing there for few minutes, more than just little surprised by her behavior. But after thinking about it, he realized that she had just been really worried about Major Carter. He decided to do his best to help in this matter._

And so he found himself at the locker room, holding his team-mate, his friend in his arms, not saying anything, just letting her cry and express her long suppressed emotions. He cared for her deeply and it was breaking his heart to see her like that. She was so strong and yet so … soft. They had been already through a lot together and sometimes he was the one to help her to come to terms with some issues and events but usually it was either Daniel Jackson or O'Neill. This felt new to him and he was unsure about what to do.

Now more than ever he was hoping that his friend, his brother, was okay and would be back home soon. He missed him as well after all.

He was aware of the feelings between his two friends. He had suspected long before the incident with armbands from Anise. He thought that they would persuade the relationship, they deserved to be happy after all. But they decided to stay on the same team as true warriors, leaving their personal desires behind the duty. He admired them for that and he also felt sorry for them. He wanted nothing more for them than happiness.

He was worried that in the end they would end up hurting and separated. It troubled him.

Sam couldn't believe it. She really broke down in Teal'c's arms. She sobbed and cried on his shoulder. She should have felt ashamed, she knew. However she was just sad. She felt a bit better but still, the pain in her chest was overwhelming. When she moved away, Teal'c let her do so.

"Teal'c…"

"I shall say it again, Major Carter, we will find him." He knew he had to be reassuring.

"I so want to believe that, Teal'c." She felt the tears behind her eyes again. Damn.

"I have learned something after all the years spent here among you on Earth."

"Really? What?"

"Nothing can stop O'Neill from coming home to have a cake. Especially a birthday cake."

Sam was crying again but laughing along with it. It started it as a chuckle and it escalated. She couldn't think straight. She was a mess. But Teal'c just told a joke and he was so damn right. She looked at him and found him smiling at her. She kissed his cheek then.

"Thank you."

He nodded and gave her some more time to regain composure. Teal'c was watching her, she knew he was just really concerned about her. It was cute. It warmed her heart.

"It's okay, Teal'c, I'm gonna be fine."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Positive."

"You shall get some rest, Major Carter. Doctor Fraiser is most concerned about you. As am I."

"Sure… I'll talk to her. And I will get some rest. I promise."

"Very well then. I shall take my leave."

He nodded at her and left the locker room.

Sam was sitting there for some time, took a shower and then went to the infirmary to talk to Janet. Her friend however wasn't there. In about fifteen minutes she got a phone call. Ha, speak of the devil.

"Hey!"

"Hey! Please tell me you are not working now… Sam…"

"No, I'm not working, Janet. I was just trying to find you actually…"

"Really? Sorry, I left a bit early today. Big shopping with Cassie… So any plans for the evening?"

"None that I'm aware of. Why?"

"What do you say about girl's night?"

"You know what? I'm in."

"Good."

"What should I bring?"

"Nothing. Yourself."

"Funny…"

"See you soon."

Sam knew that it was a bad bad idea but maybe it was actually what she needed. And she owed it to Janet anyway. And what could be bad about a girl's night? It would mean couch, ice-cream, fluffy socks, romantic movies, lot's of laughing, smiling, crying and most probably embarrassing moments, all of it together till early morning hours.

She stopped over at her place to change into some normal casual clothes. In her bedroom she noticed a package. It was a birthday present for the Colonel. She had completely forgotten about it. Teal'c was right, actually. They would find him and there would a party and all with cake because there was not a thing able to stop Colonel Jack O'Neill from having some cake.

She grabbed two boxes of tissues and drove over to Janet's place. She was happy to see her. They sat down in the living room, waiting for Cassie to show up so they could turn on the TV.

"By the way, Janet… it was really smooth with Teal'c."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Don't play innocent with me!"

"If it was me, would you talk to me?"

Sam wanted to say that of course she would talk to her. But the look Janet was giving her made her think. And she could feel the emotions including guilt resurfacing again.

"I wouldn't. Oh Janet…"

"It's okay."

"It's not! You're my best friend… I should have talked to you … I don't know what… I just…"

"Sam…"

"I'm so sorry…"

Janet wanted to argue but there was no point. And so they sank down further to the cushions.

"So… did it help?"

"Actually it did…"

"Good."

"You don't have to worry about me."

"I know you, Samantha Elizabeth Carter. Always remember that while you're trying to lie to me."

"Stop using that tone on me… I'm not Cassie…" She was smiling while saying that but Janet just gave her another of her looks. She could see right through her.

"You're worse…"

Cassie appeared then and asked them if they wanted some ice-cream or cookies or something. They opted for cookies and decided to save the ice-cream for later. She sat down next to them. They were watching Gone with the Wind, laughing and crying. They all loved these old romantic movies. They had something magical in themselves. Cassie was a bit said though.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You will find him, right?"

"Sweetheart…"

"I'm not eleven anymore you know? No need to lie to me or be extra cautious. I just need to know. I mean I know you are doing all you can and I know he is too but I just … I guess I just need to hear it from you."

"I will find him. Okay?"

"You believe that?"

"I do. I promise, Cass, we will find him."

Cassie hugged her then. Maybe she was 18, she was actually a young woman and not a little girl anymore but still she had the little girl from Hanka in herself. And she loved these people and sometimes she needed to know, to be reassured and to feel secure and loved again.

"You know, Teal'c told me something today."

"What?"

"He reminded me that there is nothing that would stop the Colonel from having cake. So he has to come back to have one." And they all laughed at that, exactly as she did in the locker room.

"We will throw him a party, right?" Cassie asked.

"Of course we will. With a huge cake." Janet promised.

"Sam there's one thing…"

"What's going on?"

"You remember the school project you helped me with? The last one?"

"Yes of course."

"Well I won the first prize with it. Your and mom's knowledge with my research and all… I just won."

"That's amazing!" Sam was really thrilled. They spent long hours on that one. It was fun but it was also exhausting. Besides it looked like Cassie was more sure of herself and her future plans. They all just had to come to terms with it.

"But you're not smiling… what's up?"

"She won a trip to Europe." Janet supplied.

"So where's the catch?"

"Because of school and some other projects and I had to pick the stupidest possible date."

"When is it?"

"We're supposed to leave just right after Christmas, actually more like on Christmas and we'd be there for almost two weeks." Janet told her.

"Which means we are going to miss your birthday."

"That's okay Cassie… it doesn't matter. It's great you two are coming to Europe."

"See I was thinking…"

"About?"

"Well Jack missed his party. And I know you guys, as soon as he's back you're just gonna throw yourself back at work and suddenly it will be December and we will be leaving and all…"

"The point is?"

"The point is that I was thinking about planning one party sometimes in November. We could celebrate his birthday, yours and maybe even Christmas."

"Why Christmas?"

"Because you're gonna get stuck on some planet in the middle of nowhere and you won't make it for Christmas. I know you, Sam. I know how lucky you guys are. It was a miracle we could celebrate the Christmas last year…" She was making fun of her, but well it was truth anyway.

"Hmm… actually it sounds good."

"I wanted to talk to you and Teal'c and so… before asking uncle George."

"Why?"

"I wanted to contact grandpa." As soon as she said it she knew she was in troubles. Sam was looking at her, shocked. Janet was grinning. And Cassie was blushing.

"Grandpa?"

"Eh… I… well…"

"Are you calling my father grandpa?"

"Sort of…"

"Cass."

"Okay okay, I am calling him grandpa."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Are you angry?"

"What? No! Why? I mean… it's cute."

"You know, when I was a kid it just sorta slipped from time to time but…"

"It grew on you two, huh? So now it's a regular thing."

"Yes."

"Do I want to know for how long?"

"Nope…" Cassie was blushing furiously now. And Sam just hugged her and told her once more that it was okay. Actually she had known about it for some time now. They settled for another movie then.

"So… you agree with the party?"

"Yes. Of course."

"So you just gotta find Jack and it will all be okay and settled."

Sam knew Cassie was just concerned and missing him. She could understand that. But hearing her say it like that made her realize the pain once more. She felt tears in her eyes again. Of course, it was up to her to find him. They were counting on her. And she was a failure. She had no idea about what to do and where to look. She felt even more desperate than few years ago. Back then she knew where to look, she just didn't know whether he had survived or not.

On the other hand, back then she wasn't sure of anything. Now she knew that he was trying to do his best to survive and get back home. He had a family there, actually here. And friends. And she was hoping that he was also thinking about her. It was his birthday today! He was supposed to be here along with others, eating cake and bugging them to let him watch some old movie.

Janet noticed the tears in her friend's eyes and sent a silent look towards her daughter.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that…"

"It's okay sweetie. As I said before, we're gonna get him back. I promise."

And Janet knew that this called for a change. They needed some chocolate and ice-cream. She looked at Cassie and nodded towards the kitchen. She understood. Cassie got up and came back then with huge bowl of ice cream and with a tray with toppings, nuts and small caramel cookies.

"Come on, time for ice-cream."

"Which one do we have?"

"Your favorite." Cassie told her with a bright smile.

"I wish we had…" Sam answered.

"Come on, I'm telling ya, it's your favorite."

"Cass… do you know which one is my favorite?"

"Yes. The one your grandma used to make for you. She taught your mom how to make it." Sam was surprised once more. And Cassie looked really proud of herself.

"How…?"

"Grandpa told me… Selmak helped him remember everything and he wrote it down. It took me ages to find the right way how to make this…"

Sam took a spoon and tasted it. She smiled at her friends. She looked excited actually.

"It's perfect."

"Let's dig in."

And so all three of them, smiling and happy, had their ice-cream and cookies and watched Casablanca and Dirty Dancing and then cried while watching the City of Angels. And as usually they found themselves asleep on the couch in the morning.

It took them some time but they had figured it out in the end. And so they found Jack and got him home. Nobody could have guessed the consequences though.

Everybody was happy to see him, they were glad he was okay and all. He was tired and slept for a few days. His people and friends were there for him of course. Every time when he was up there was somebody there with him. And he was grateful for the company. There was just one person missing. Carter. He had never seen her. And it hurt.

"Everything okay, Colonel?"

"What?"

"You seem distracted, Sir."

"Sorry Fraiser… it's just… have you seen Carter around?"

"Why?"

"Come on, doc… I think I saw her when you guys brought me home but I'm not sure and it's not like she's been around…"

Fraiser looked around and after making sure they were alone she just smiled at him sadly.

"Come on doc, you're not helping…"

"She's okay."

"Is she?"

"Do you honestly think that she would just leave you here and not make sure you were okay, Sir?"

He just kept on staring at her, not really being able to tell her what he would want to. And she knew. She could see what was going on. Once having to confront her feelings again in such a drastic way, Sam had decided to put some distance between herself and her CO, just to be safe. She had done that before. Well, he was no better. But this time it was too obvious to see the pain and disappointment.

"Doc really, how is she?"

"Let me put it this way, Sir. You were missing for more than a month and nobody could say if you were alive or not. I'm sure you'll come across some certain reports concerning her behavior that might tell you more."

"That bad, huh?"

She wanted to answer, she wanted to say something but she couldn't. She just couldn't. She had already said enough. She wouldn't want to betray her friendship with Sam. And there was the whole Air Force rule book to follow, especially now. She had learned something during the last few years. These people, these two in particular, needed just hints. They would figure out the rest and deal with it. And by talking just about the hints, they wouldn't end up in troubles. Nothing had been ever said clearly. Simply, there was nothing to report.

Okay okay, once there was something to report. She was there, she heard it all and she knew she would have to report it. But General Hammond asked her to write only the necessary information into her report. And so she did it. And she talked to Teal'c and he talked to Daniel and so far it looked good. Well, only sometimes, like now, this whole situation would drive her crazy.

These two shouldn't be that honorable. One of them should quit and stay as a civilian. Not even working on the same team and saving the world and the galaxy was worth such a pain. They deserved so much more. And she liked them both so sometimes it was just plain difficult to watch them suffer like this.

"Thank you, doc."

"For what, Sir?"

"For caring."

And they both knew that he didn't mean caring for him but for her. He knew her well enough to know that she had been the one to take care of his 2IC. Like always.

He had few ideas about why Carter was trying so much to avoid him. He decided to give her some time and to talk to her later. Geeez he really missed her like hell. He hated these days and weeks of drifting apart. He had always been worried that in times like these they would once push too hard and get lost. Maybe it would be the right thing to do, maybe she would get herself a life then, who could tell, huh? But still… he loved her and he had to make sure she was okay. Silly? Maybe.

He had regular visitors. They brought him some recorded games to watch, some magazines and even some Simpsons to watch as well. They knew him way too well. Even Cassie stopped by. That was actually pretty cute. She lied down next to him like she used to when she was a kid.

"I'm sorry we missed your birthday."

"Naaah, that's okay. We can get cake later when I'm released from this bed." And he was already grinning. The prospect of having cake made him happy. At least a bit.

"Mom will let you go soon."

"She told you?" He was surprised.

"Ah-ha…" Oh so she knew he hadn't been told.

"Evil lady…"

"Listen, Jack, there was this idea."

"I'm all ears."

"You know that I won the first prize with the science project, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Something about a trip to Europe?"

"Yes. But we're leaving practically on Christmas. So me and mom, we will miss Sam's birthday. So I was thinking… what would you say about one party in about a month? Late November, maybe early December? We could celebrate your birthday because we missed it, hers birthday because we will miss it and maybe even Christmas."

"You think we won't be around for Christmas, huh?"

"Sorta…"

"I'm not planning on getting stuck somewhere this year."

"Just face it, Jack. You all were here last year. You really think you will get that lucky again?"

"You have a point…" He had to admit. Reluctantly. But she was grinning at him.

"So what do you think?"

"It might work out… but we'll see okay? No promises right now."

"Fair enough."

"You know how it is…"

"I know… so thank you."

Then Janet came and Cassie had to go… but he was finally free from the infirmary. He went to Carter's lab but the room was empty. He tried Jonas' office but that one was empty too. And then he met Teal'c and was told about a briefing taking place just about then.

SG-1 was send to few missions, nothing extra interesting but also nothing dangerous. Just regular recon missions. They all seemed rather fine but there was tension between them. The friendly banter was missing. And Jack understood. It happened. They had drifted apart too far. He just hated it. It was all so damn wrong!

It left him thinking. What really caused it? He tried to talk to Fraiser, to Teal'c, hell even to Jonas but there was nothing that would make sense. He knew they were not telling him something but he couldn't just force them. He just didn't like it. He didn't want to lose his team. They were his friends.

But maybe this was how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be just team-mates, maybe friends but nothing more. Their relationships went deeper and they all knew it. They had become a family on the way. Technically it was wrong. And he knew that this was right. But he didn't like it. He couldn't actually work like this. Maybe he got soft after the years here but he needed his team to be the little crazy family otherwise it just wasn't … it didn't feel right.

He knew that the cause of all the problems was his relationship with Carter. They knew about those feelings. They knew about the risks. They knew and they never talked. They just had to wait and hope and maybe somehow they lost it all on their way. Or not?

She put the space between them after his month of absence. But why? Because she had to deal with the feelings? Or because she realized that was she had been feeling was no longer there and didn't want to hurt him? Or did she find somebody else? What the hell was going on? He could see so many possibilities and he didn't like a single one.

So at home, just few days before the planned big party to celebrate his and Carter's birthday, he was trying to decide what to do. Then his phone rang.

"Yeah?"

"Jack? It's me, Cass."

"Hey kiddo… what's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're still on for the party next week."

"Actually… I'm not so sure it's a good idea."

"Jack…"

"I'd love to come but I hate to be the one to spoil the party."

They were both silent for a moment. Jack knew that Cassie was one smart woman and he was afraid that she would figure it out. And that she did indeed.

"What happened between you two, Jack? What's going on?"

"Cass..."

"Come on, you know I'm not a little girl anymore."

"You'll always be a little girl to me."

"I know… and you know that I didn't mean it like that. You don't have play dumb with me. Besides I'm not stupid and I'm not blind."

"I know you're not…"

"You know I love you both, right?" It was a question but she didn't give him time to answer that one. "I just hate the idea of something being wrong between you two."

Now she gave him time to think and to answer. He sighed and for some unknown reason decided to tell the truth.

"She doesn't want me around, Cassie."

"That's not truth."

"She's avoiding me." And he hated how broken he sounded.

"And you don't know what you had done, do you?"

"I have an idea but…"

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. Trust me, me too." And they got silent again.

"Promise me you'll at least try to talk to her, please."

"Cassie it's not that easy."

"I'm not asking you to fix the whole relationship thing you two have going on. I'm just asking you to talk to her about this so we all can spend nice evening together, celebrating your birthday and the Christmas."

To say he was surprised would be an understatement of the year. But she had a point there.

"Jack?"

"Sorry, just thinking…"

"Good luck and I hope you both will be there. And don't you dare to say something like no promises or so…"

Then she said bye and hung up on him. And he couldn't believe. What happened to the little girl he used to play with? She used to be so innocent and cute and now? Well, now she's a grown woman with her own head, thinking way too much and spending way too much time with him, Carter and Fraiser. It was not a bad thing of course but well… wow.

He walked into his bedroom and found a box there hidden in his closet. Nobody was supposed to know about that one. He picked up one small box from it. It was blue and very pretty. And he knew very well what was inside. It was the present he had for Carter for her birthday.

At first he wanted to think about another present to give her, one that would be by all means acceptable. But now they were planning on having a birthday party combined with Christmas party so all the presents would just be given together. That would make it much easier for him. The only problem was that he wasn't sure if he wanted … if he could give this to her.

After lying awake for almost whole night, he decided to at least try to talk her. She had to know that no matter what her friendship would always mean a lot to him. If nothing else, he needed the friendship to stay human and sane. And maybe it was selfish and wrong and against everything he had been taught at the academy but he needed her to know. Maybe ten years ago he wouldn't have probably cared… but ten years ago he hadn't known her.

So the next morning he took coffee and some sweet pastry at her favorite Italian place and brought it over to her lab. She wasn't there but that didn't matter. He left the breakfast there with a note and with a glint of hope walked away.

Sam found the breakfast there. She thought that it was from Janet but surprisingly, she was wrong. Really really wrong. It was not from Janet.

"Best way to start the day is breakfast. So have some!"

She smiled and despite the nudging feeling in the back of her mind tried some of the pastry. And she loved it. Oh it was her favorite with the vanilla pudding and dark chocolate chips and all. She could get used to this. She tried the coffee as well. Her friends knew how she liked her coffee by now. But nobody knew that they had this spiced coffee there. With a bit of cinnamon and cardamom, it was delicious and she loved it. So she was grinning like an idiot when she tasted the coffee and realized that somebody had figured out her secret passion.

She went to the commissary but didn't find her CO there. She tried the gym but he wasn't there either. So she just opted for the good old message in the locker. She couldn't figure out the best way how to tell him that his gesture was dearly appreciated. They were not scheduled for any mission today or tomorrow so she opted for simple message.

She knew that it was her fault, she knew that just because of her they had been drifting apart and not being the friends they used to be. And she thought that it was okay. She thought that she wanted it like this. And it was okay and it was working. She could be cold and professional on the missions, she was pretty successful in avoiding him on the base as well. But then he did something so innocent as to bring her the best possible breakfast and she realized how much she had missed him.

She didn't think she would be able just to pretend it had never happened. She didn't know what the breakfast was supposed to mean. She had no idea. But the warm feeling surrounding her heart now was pretty good indication that she should do something about the situation. And she couldn't do anything else but to try to talk to him, try to explain, to apologize. Maybe it would mean the end of everything but maybe, just maybe, they would figure it out.

Sam realized one important thing. He was her friend, her very good friend. They managed to connect on some deep level and she loved every second of it. And as long as he was playing along and leaving her alone, she was okay with the distance. But now he changed the rules, he broke the lines and showed her that he knew her. And she realized that his friendship was way too valuable to her to be just thrown away.

The distance sucked pretty much suddenly.

So she was really proud of herself. Telling him: "Lunch is also important and comes with a dessert. Pick me up." was a good thing to do. Or at least she hoped it was. And the double meaning there? That was just for the good measure and to tease him a little. She was sure he would appreciate the humor there. She knew him as well.

Before they managed to pull this through, the Russian team came back and all hell broke loose.

Jack knew that things couldn't be good when the man stopped the bullet. He sensed troubles. And then he woke up, disoriented, in a prison cell, unarmed and with huge headache. Oh that was bad. At least Carter was there with him, he could make sure she wouldn't be harmed. He knew that she and Nirrti had some history. He was sure that because of everything that had happened on Hanka, everything that Cassie had to go through, Carter would find a way how to kill her very slowly. So having her so close was actually a good thing.

Or so he thought before they came for her. He was scared and pissed. As usually when he could do nothing to prevent her from being hurt and harmed. And she tried to comfort him, turning the whole thing into a joke. She was indeed spending too much time with him. Or not enough. He was so worried, thinking about everything and trying to figure out what to do.

Once again he had to see the point in fraternization rules. And in the same time they were pointless. They had no relationship but those feelings were affecting him even more than any relationship ever could. Seeing the Russian Colonel, he could just wonder in what shape they would bring Sam back.

And then he found himself with sleeping very sick Carter in his arms. When she put her head on his shoulder, he knew she was sick. And he was doing all he could not to hold her and try to comfort her. But he wanted to… oh he wanted to.

Seeing her getting more and more sick, he could only hope that she would make it so he would get the chance to fix the excuse for a real relationship they had. It was more than friendship and less than a relationship, huh?

"Sir?"

"Hey…"

"What…"

"You fainted, Carter."

"Sorry…" She tried to get up then.

"Forget about that… you're staying exactly where you are." His tone and grip was gentle but firm in the same time. Oh no, he was not letting her go.

"Don't want to bother you, Sir."

"So here I am, finally having you in my arms and you want to move away?" He said, only half-jokingly. She smiled at him weakly. It made his heart swell and his eyes burn with unshed tears. He could see how weak she was.

"How do you feel, huh?"

"I'm fine."

"Sure." And he could taste the sarcasm there.

"No, really. "

"Huh?"

"With you, here, now, I'm fine." She tried to smile at him but she felt too weak to do so. He just tried to bring her closer to his body to keep her warm. She snuggled closer and closed her eyes. He was holding her to him, caressing her skin, he even kissed her hair then. Screw the regulations and everything else. The woman he cared about more than he cared about himself was dying in his arms so he would do everything he could to offer at least a tiny little bit of comfort. He noticed Teal'c looking at him but the big guy just nodded at him.

When she was awake, she was a bit disoriented. Sometimes she would call him Jack, sometimes Colonel, sometimes Sir. Sometimes she would try to sit up and sometimes she refused to move. Sometimes she would ask about Daniel as well. It was worrying them all. She was in a pretty bad shape. And they could do nothing about it.

"Sir?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I'm sorry."

"Nonsense… nothing to be sorry about, Sam."

"There is."

"Shh…"

"Jack…"

"Just rest, you hear me? Just rest and stay with us, okay?"

"I'm not sure I can do that, Sir."

"You can… come on Sam, just stay with me. Please, stay with me." And he could tell she was about to protest again. Hell they all saw what happened and what would happen to her. They knew she was about to die very painfully very soon. But he just couldn't accept it!

He cuddled her closer and kissed her temple again. He noticed the weak smile on her lips. Oh it was all so so so wrong.

He was really worried back then. This was another of those moments he would never forget, one of those that would always hunt him in his sleep and make him wake up screaming. But then miracle happened.

They saved her.

But oh he had been worried sick when Nirrti got killed. He panicked back then. But luckily he didn't have to worry for long. They saved her, they made her Carter again, she was back, safe, well and healthy. She looked a bit off but who wouldn't?

When the machine was finished, he just wanted to reach over, he wanted to hug her, kiss her, check her out, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. And he could see the same desire in her eyes. She needed him, she needed the comfort, the reassurance, she needed to be in his arms as much as he needed to have her there. But the military in them kicked in really hard and so they settled for brief touch and meaningful look. Like usually.

On their way from the room with the damned machine, her knees went weak. She had to sit down there and take a deep breath.

"Carter…"

"I'm fine, Sir, I really am. Just tired I think."

"Okay so you wait here. We're gonna grab our things, talk to Eggar about when we're gonna be back and all…"

"Yes, Sir."

"You're gonna be here and alive when we get back, right?"

"Yes, Sir." And she smiled at him. She knew he was only half-joking then. But it made her smile anyway.

In the end he had to help her a lot to get back to the Gate. She fainted twice on their way and always found herself in his arms then. He started to joke about it of course.

"You know, Carter, you don't have to fall down if you want me to cuddle you… or carry you."

"Just wanted to make you happy, Sir." Oh so she was joking back!

However she insisted on walking through on her own. They could all understand. If Fraiser would see her being carried inside, she'd have to spend weeks in the infirmary. Her time could be limited to a week or so like this. Maybe even less, maybe she would even be released for her party.

This horrible near-death experience showed them both a lot.

Jack knew that no matter what he just couldn't stop caring. Seeing her like that was awful. And having her so close was … wrong, tempting, crazy, confusing, wonderful and perfect. Well, circumstances could have been a bit different though. Now, more than ever, he was determined to talk to her. He knew she wanted to talk back then but it would mean she was ready to give up. And he was not willing to witness that.

Sam was released home, which was nice. Janet was willing to let her go. She had some conditions of course but in general Sam was free to go home and rest there. She knew that on that planet she had lost it. She was about to confess to everything, she was about to break down in his arms and tell him all those things… she just wanted to die with no regrets. Or almost no regrets. So she wanted to come out clear and tell him. But he stopped her. At first she thought he just didn't want to hear it but then she understood. He just didn't want her to give up on everything. He knew her too well.

And she should have known better. Of course they would save her! She should have realized that they would never let her die… but well, after what happened to Daniel she just lost a bit of her faith. She used to believe in the team, in everything they managed. They lost Daniel. He died. Sort of… So she could die too. She had to face her mortality many times but this one was really close call. But maybe exactly because they had lost Daniel, her CO was not willing to lose her. And she was grateful. She didn't want to die… she was glad that he was there.

So she knew that they really needed to talk. She owed him at least an explanation if nothing else. But she just didn't know how to approach the subject. It was not like they could just talk about everything. They didn't even know how anymore! They got so tangled in all the emotions, thoughts, pretending and not-saying-anything that it was hard to talk. They were both worried and trying not to endanger each other. It was a mess, one huge mess.

Sam was glad when Cassie came over. She could use some girly company, watching some movies, eating ice-cream and cookies. Cassie insisted so she had to lie down and let her paint her toe-nails. Purple was a nice color, right? Cassie was having fun while drawing white and pink flowers on her nails then. It was actually relaxing. They talked about one guy she liked at school and about her plans for the trip to Europe.

They also talked about the party that was about to happen the other day. They had an early Christmas tree and all the presents, they had decorations, stack of Christmas movies and books, lots of pictures to be embarrassed about and all. The plan was good. And they were already looking forward to it. And of course – two cakes instead of one. Janet was against it but she stood no chance. The people around her just seemed to love cakes. Especially the birthday ones. And now they were about to celebrate two birthdays! So the party was re-planned and postponed for the weekend. Like that they would have more time to have fun.

Cassie didn't know what happened on the last mission but she knew that Nirrti was dead and that Sam had been really sick. She didn't need to know more. She was glad she had her back and she was just hoping that experience like this would help her and Jack to find a way how to talk. She really didn't like it when these two couldn't be around each other. It was wrong.

So she was really surprised when she went to open the door to Sam's house and found Jack standing there. He was a bit shocked but she was smiling. She knew it!

"Jack!"

"Hey, Cassie… ehm…"

"Just come inside."

"I don't want to spoil your fun…"

Cassie could tell that he was nervous. He was a bit shocked to see her there. And as she knew him he was about to use it as a retreat excuse. She wasn't about to allow him to do so. So she just stepped closer, hugged him and dragged him inside.

"She's in the living room and I will just… be somewhere else."

"Cassie!"

"Play nice." And then she just kissed his cheek and left. She actually went back to the living room and told Sam that she had a visitor.

Very reluctantly Jack walked into the living room and the sigh warmed his heart. There she was, wearing comfy clothes, her hair ruffled and going crazy, her nails colored, fluffy blanket around her. And she smiled at him.

"Hey…"

"Sir, hi…"

"So… looks like Cassie just…"

"She gets that from her mom… Wanna sit down?" She smiled at him, more at ease that he had seen her in weeks. He hesitated only for a moment.

She moved on the couch to make room for him. So she ended up sitting on the couch with her feet on the table with her CO mirroring her posture there next to her.

"Whatcha watching, Carter?"

"Casablanca…" She smiled at him sweetly and he could just chuckle.

"And I thought I was the one with thing for old movies." He nudged her shoulder with his.

"Cookie?" She offered him and he just took one.

"Sir… why are you here?" And she was serious with her tone. But her eyes were still full of sparkles. She always had them there when he was around.

"We need to talk…"

"I know."

"We suck at talking."

"I can agree with that."

"Sam…"

"Okay let me start."

"You want to?"

"No but if I don't start we just end up eating all the cookies and not talking at all." He had to agree with that. That sounded like something they would do.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I owe you an apology."

"An apology? For what?"

"For putting the distance between us. Seemed like a good idea back then." She looked at him, hoping to find something in his eyes but there was just confused pain written there and it hurt her to know she was the cause of it.

"One question."

"Shoot…" And then she was worried.

"Why?"

"Sir…"

"I have an idea but I need to know." And the open honesty almost broke her. It took her some time but she managed to find enough strength to answer him.

"It helps me to cope."

"Carter…"

"No, hear me out. When something like this happens I am forced to confront some parts of myself that I'm not used to even acknowledge. And the Air Force is drilled in me so deep that it's easier just to shut everything down and the distance helps."

"Does it really?" He almost whispered back.

"In the beginning… but then you do something like bring me breakfast with my favorite coffee and it's all … gone."

"Is this the moment when I apologize?"

"No, this is the moment when you tell me I'm forgiven."

"Come on, Carter…"

"I hurt you and I know it. And I'm sorry. I really am."

He looked at her and noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Don't do it again…"

"I can try… no promises though."

"Sam… if you need the distance we can do that. I don't want you to feel pressured or pushed into anything."

"I don't feel like that!"

"Look… I know we have some… issues. And I know that we can't deal with them. Hell I don't even know how we should deal with them! But… " And suddenly his courage was gone.

"Sir?" But there was still no response. And so she dared to try something she had done only few times during the last years.

"Jack?" And it worked. She got his attention. She took a deep breath, not really knowing how this would end. He was scared but he knew he had to do this.

"Oh… crap." He looked at her then. And noticed the look she was giving him. And he got the message. They had to talk about some things but there were some that had to remain locked away even now. _Crap._

"I'm not expecting you sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. I want you to be happy, Carter. But when you keep avoiding me, I miss you. I miss your friendship, your possession with jell-o and crazy spiced coffees, there's no one to laugh at my lame jokes and make my head spin by talking to me in sentences I cannot fully understand most of the times... I missed you. I really did. So if distance is what you need, we can really do that, I'm serious. But I don't want to lose you."

And they both knew he wouldn't say more. This was actually more than just enough. She reached over and took his hand in hers, tucking it safely to the blanket, hiding it and keeping their joined fingers safe.

"I missed you too…"

She felt the tear slipping down her cheek. The next thing she knew was a swift movement. And then he hugged her. And she let him. Well, she hugged him back. She still couldn't believe it. He basically told her that he loved her enough to let her go and be happy with somebody else if that was what she wanted.

Sam looked up and noticed the emotions on his face. He wasn't trying to hide them away, not this time. And she was glad. She needed this. Soon they found a comfortable place, sitting next to each other, Jack holding her to his side. She was hugging his midriff, her head on his chest, resting peacefully.

Jack then reached for his jacket. He had a small blue box in one of the pockets. He gave it to her.

"You know the party is tomorrow, right."

"Yes… but I wanted to give you this … in private."

"No note this time?" She was only joking but it made him wonder.

"I had the guts to talk to you this time... but I might figure out something later."

He promised. She wanted to open the box but then she decided to leave it for the evening... She knew there was a reason why he was giving her the birthday presents secretly. She didn't want him to feel any discomfort.

Could she imagine opening it right there? Oh she could see the scene easily. She would just smile and open the small box. What would she found? She didn't know. But she was sure that he would get very embarrassed by the situation. And the level of his discomfort would make her close the box and face all the consequences later.

She held the box in her hand though. She refused to let go. She leaned closer to her CO. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek gently. It was like dancing on a very thin ice, she knew, but she couldn't help it. And despite blushing a bit he didn't seem to mind her actions at all. Too bad, that was too bad...

"Thank you."

"Happy birthday, Carter. I know it's not your birthday today but… I just…"

She stopped him then. With a small nod she moved a bit back and down and made herself comfortable.

"I should go…"

"Please, stay."

"Carter…" And there was a warning in his voice. He was just a man!

"Just a minute…"

She snuggled closer for the last time and found the perfect place to rest. Soon she was asleep with the little blue box in her hand. Jack stayed for some time, enjoying the feeling of warm very much alive Carter in his arms. Neither noticed Cassie standing in the doorway, looking at them, smiling. With a huge grin she walked away and let them be. They needed those few minutes, hour or two and she was definitely not the one to break the moment.

Jack knew he had to go before falling asleep. He kissed Carter's head and then gently unwrapped himself from her arms. She was still sleeping soundly. She had to be exhausted. He picked her up then and took her to her bedroom. He tugged her in and noticed that she wouldn't let the little box go. It made him smile smugly.

He kissed her forehead again, whispered something to her and then left the house after saying goodbye to Cassie. On his way home he was thinking about it all. He could understand that the distance could be helpful. He actually did understand that. He had tried to take that road several times himself. But well… close proximity could be so much better…

When Sam woke up, she was still holding the box. It was dark outside. She turned on the lights and decided to take a look at her present. She knew she was supposed to save it for her actual birthday but she had a bad feeling about that. Like that she wouldn't get the chance then... so now was as good as anytime.

She found a chain necklace there, gently placed on the cushion. She gasped. It was perfect. As usually, delicate, brilliant, sparkling and breathtaking. So light and … unbelievable. It seemed to her that it was made from white gold. And was it twisted? It was so beautiful! She just took a closer look at the necklace, traced it with her finger and then realized something. It was plain, no pendant, nothing. She was sure that any other woman would be offended but she was just curious. She knew that there would be something else coming, perhaps, one day.

She placed the box into her drawer, right next to the one with her earrings and one with her bracelet. This was getting very very interesting.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** You know guys, I picked those episodes and wanted to build this story on them. And suddenly I saw the huge potential in every single one of them… and I am not using it. Too bad for me, I know. So yeah, I am sure now – I will surely come back to them and use them for some proper stories. I promise :o)_


	4. Planetarium

_**A/N:**__ I know, it took me ages to post this one. Sorry guys, I was too busy with too much going on in my head and around me… besides I was still fighting my sort of writer's block and one nasty cold… I just hate having high fevers..._

_**Episodes mentioned** (just in case you're wondering) - Grace + Death Knell. Plus tiny little reference to Singularity ;o)  
><em>

_**Thanks** to Hana CZ for her help :o)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Planetarium<strong>

Jack O'Neill was standing in Fraiser's kitchen, looking back to the living room. There were some people there sitting, chatting, laughing. This was actually a birthday party so yeah, of course they were having fun. Everyone was having one, well except him. He managed to escape to the kitchen by the excuse of private phone call and managed to stay a bit longer so he could finish another plate of sandwiches. He knew he should be heading back there already but somehow it didn't feel as such a good idea.

He was watching Carter sitting next to her boyfriend. Yeah, she had one. She actually had a boyfriend and he was human and real and there. And he was a cop. They actually looked kind of good together. _That_ hurt.

Jack knew that he was supposed to be happy for her. And part of him was. She was his friend after all. But another part of him was just screaming in pain and despair. He was torn.

What had he done? He just pushed her away and she ended up in arms of another man. Maybe it was for her own good. Just maybe… he just couldn't suppress the memories though.

It was so difficult back then all those long weeks, months ago. He was forced to wait. How cruel was that? There was nothing for him to do but hope and pray and God knew he sucked in both. His friends were worried both about Carter and about him. It really looked like her time had come and that they would never ever see her again. And he wasn't coping well with that.

But well, she was trapped on a spaceship, she could have been dying or losing her mind, whatever. And he wasn't there to help her, he wasn't there to guide her through, he left her alone.

He was once again surprised by the power she had over him. She was his everything and he just wasn't sure if that was good or a bad thing. She was lost, gone, maybe forever, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, he was just trying to survive. And yet he had no idea how to do so. Maybe he didn't even wanted to be successful in this area.

He fell asleep once during that time. He actually suspected Fraiser – that she had given him something, probably into his coffee or juice. It was for his own good, that much he knew, but he was angry anyway. He had a nightmare that time. He could see himself explaining to Jacob what had happened. He could still remember the tremble in his voice, the fire in his lungs and tears in his eyes, he would never be able to chase that image away. Jacob Carter, tough soldier and hell of a good man, breaking down after hearing about his daughter's death.

Jack woke up then and ran towards the control room and scared half of the staff on his way. He found Daniel there with Siler, talking. Daniel managed to calm him down just by squeezing his shoulder and looking deep into his eyes with compassing and understanding. He was a good friend, no questions and no teasing. He could understand the fear. And surprisingly, so could others. Was he really that transparent?

And then during one blessed night Carter managed to save herself. And with a bit of help they got her back to Earth, put her into bed, hooked her up to machines and IVs. She looked so weak and pale and he was even more worried than before. Fraiser barely left her side for the first 48 hours.

Jack knew that he had practically lived in that bed next to Carter's. He just couldn't leave her, not again. He was scared. He was also trying to figure out how to approach the subject. When she was lost he understood something. It was time. It was time for him to either let go of her or the Air Force. And he was ready to resign and talk to her, openly.

Then she woke up and called his name. He was surprised, he was pleased, his heartbeat was erratic, his palms sweating and eyes clouded with tears. His name was the first one on her lips, she knew he would be there, right? Oh yeah, so he talked, why not? Still, it felt really good to have her there, calling his name. It was the sweetest possible sound back then.

Then it happened. Something in him snapped and in shock he replied. And it was the wrong thing to do. He screwed up everything then. He buried all their chances. He knew that. Instead of grasping the tiny hope he had, he threw it all away. What was his excuse? That he didn't want to screw up her career? Her life? That he wanted to keep her safe? Or was it something far more selfish like being scared?

Anyway, the next thing he knew, she was humming in the elevator, dating this Pete guy. And he felt all his hopes and dreams leaving him. Like when he lost his father. Like when killed for the first time. Like when he felt his marriage with Sara breaking. Like when Charlie died. Like when he signed the divorce papers. He felt broken and empty.

This time however he was supposed to also feel happy – happy for her. She had found someone to be with, someone to love her and care for her. And she made it clear that his friendship meant a lot to her. Well, that feeling was mutual. But was it enough? Or was it too much to ask?

At first it seemed impossible. They managed a lot, they were able to throw a miracle in every second week and save the planet every once in a while, but it seemed too hard for them to be friends, just like that. After years of wanting more and fighting for every second of happiness, being just friends with no prospect of anything else seemed to be … pointless.

They drifted apart and he hated it. But one part of him felt some strange relieve. Maybe it was time to let go completely, huh? She was obviously happy with this other man and she had her friends around her, her family. Of course they would still be working together and yes, they were still friends, nothing could ever change that, not after everything they had been through together, but one piece of the big puzzle was missing. And it always would be. Was that really okay?

Jack didn't know what he was doing there anyway. It was a stupid idea.

Two weeks ago Daniel and Cassie were sitting in the mess, having lunch. Janet joined them a moment later. It was a nice afternoon at the base, calm and quiet. They were talking about this and that and nothing in particular but they had one serious topic to discuss. Sam's birthday.

She was having her birthday in few weeks. And they already knew that Teal'c wouldn't be around and most probably the same would happen to Daniel. So they had to plan an early party. And they were planning it, it was all nice and okay.

"So… guests?" Cassie asked.

"Well it's the three of us, Sam obviously, Teal'c, Jack…"

"Pete?" Janet asked, not really sure.

"I don't know. You think it's a good idea? It was always just us. Plus Siler or so but…"

"Cassie, they're dating. It will be rude."

"Really?"

"You don't like him…"

"That's not it… he seems rather nice."

And both Janet and Daniel knew how that sentence was supposed to continue. They used to be thinking the same thing. He was nice, he seemed like a good man, but he was not … _somebody else_.

"Cassie…"

"I know… I just really thought that they would…"

Janet noticed the tears in her daughter's eyes. She just reached over and squeezed her hand. Yeah, she used to think the same thing. But obviously things happened differently. Sam was dating Pete and she seemed content, happy maybe. Not really thrilled but juggling personal life with being a intergalactic superhero was a bit difficult.

"Hey, what'cha talking about?" Jack suddenly asked. He came and joined them in the commissary. He noticed the mood being a bit down.

"Hey…" Cassie answered, not really thrilled which was weird. She was usually pretty happy to see him.

"Well, Sam's birthday."

"Oh. What about it?"

"Guest list." Cassie told him. She sounded irritated somehow.

"What about the guest list?" Was he really missing something?

"We were just thinking if we should tell Pete about it and invite him."

"Oh…" And that hurt. Crap. But Carter liked that guy. And it was her birthday party. Answer was simple then.

"Sure you should tell him about it." Jack said out loud. Hopefully nobody heard another part of his heart breaking and falling apart.

"Really?"

"Carter is dating him, she likes him, it's her birthday. Yeah, tell him about it. And invite him. We might as well get a chance to get to know him a little better…" And now he sounded a bit more sure of himself.

Daniel was about to protest, maybe kick his friend's gut and tell him to stop with this charade. But Jack got called via the intercom. Lucky bastard.

"Sorry, gotta go."

"It's okay."

"Cass, munchkin, it's the right to do. Do it. Invite him." He told her, kissed her temple and then left the commissary.

They still weren't sure about the course of action though. Was it really such a good idea? But Jack had a point. Pete was Sam's boyfriend. She liked him and she wanted him in her life. It would not be fair to exclude him from the birthday party. Besides Cassie knew that she would have her private girl's night along with Sam and mom later. It was their thing and it wouldn't change. Ever.

Later that day Jack found himself sitting in his bedroom, open box in front of him. He had many things there. But among others there were two little dark blue boxes. One of them was older. It had been placed and secured there for several years now. The other one was rather new and no less valuable.

Next to himself he had a glass of whiskey. That night he needed it. Really he did. He was not one of those to try to make their pain and problems go away by alcohol but sometimes, just sometimes, every man needed a drink, right? Well, he did. And this time, more than in many other times, he deserved it.

Those two little boxes were presents he had for Carter. And he really used to think that he would give them to her and make things right and that it would all work out just fine for them. But somehow he just couldn't make himself to go there again. No, this was not the right time to be giving her those. They were special and she was special, he knew, she deserved them, he knew that too and he was also very well aware of the fact that he desperately wanted to give them to her. He couldn't though. Not this time.

And so here he was, in Fraiser's kitchen, watching happy Carter surrounded by those she lo… no, cared about, celebrating her birthday. Or did she…? She loved them, huh?

His time was up, he knew. Daniel approached him and waved his hand in front of Jack's eyes to get his attention. It took some self-control and lots of courage to look at him.

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"You okay?"

"Sure…"

"You're not."

"Asking or observing?"

"Both."

"Daniel…"

"Jack…" And he dared him to continue this lame excuse for conversation. Sometimes it was really difficult to be talking to Jack O'Neill as his friend.

"Everything's just peachy, Daniel." Jack told him and made his way to the living room again. He could hear Sam laughing about it. God, he missed that sound a lot.

What was he doing? Why was he trying so hard to keep her at arm's length? Why the distance? Why the protection? Because he was afraid. She had the power to crash him, to kill him, to destroy him. He knew she would never do it. But he used to think that about many other things.

One part of his dark self, hidden deep in his heart was angry with her for dating somebody else. That part was yelling at him to do something about it, to find himself a girlfriend or whatever, just do something. He was angry, she betrayed him in a way.

The worst thing? He still cared for her as much as he used to. Maybe more. So what the hell was he doing in Fraiser's living room? Well, standing there, staring, not quite believing. Life had a wicked sense of humor sometimes.

But he had an angel anyway. When things were about to become very uncomfortable, his phone started to ring. He picked it up, talked to someone and then excused himself.

"You really have to go?"

"Yep, sorry, Danny."

"Sir, thank you for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it, Carter." And he smiled at her. It was so easy to ignore their surroundings sometimes… it was wrong and he knew it but from time to time he could even enjoy such a thing as blind hope.

"I'll walk you out." Cassie offered. Jack said his goodbyes and then left.

Cassie stopped him outside the house, on the porch. She hugged him then, tightly. It worried him actually.

"Hey, munchkin, everything okay?"

"I'm supposed to be the one asking this question." She said stubbornly. And something in him involuntarily clicked. He made her sit down there. She leaned closer to him. And he suddenly found the ground very interesting.

"So what's up?" Cassie was about to protest at first but something about Jack made her talk. Like usually.

"Pete."

"Your new boyfriend or Carter's?"

"Sam's."

"Okay… what about him? You don't like him?"

"I do like him I guess, hard to tell, I hardly see him."

"So where's the problem?"

"You being here… like this… not talking to anyone, just staring and thinking… "

"Cassie…"

"I know it's none of my business. I just have one question."

"Which would be?" He gave in. It was obvious she needed this little chat.

"Are you going to leave us all if things get serious between them?"

Jack realized the worry in her voice. Part of her was worried about him. She didn't want to see him in pain from watching Sam being with somebody else. And part of her was afraid that he wouldn't be strong enough to stay around. Jack brought her closer to his body, hugged her and kissed her hair.

"As I told you when you were a kid… I will never ever leave you. I love you, Cass. Nothing can change that."

"I'm just so sorry…" And she was near to tears.

"Me too, me too…" He answered her after a long moment of silence, not really sure about what he was sorry. That he let her go? That he pushed her away? That he had to watch them? That Cassie was worried? Hurting? He couldn't distinguish the exact answer. He just knew he was sorry, probably for everything, as usually.

She hugged him and refused to let go. Jack knew he was running out of time, he really really had to go but he just didn't have the heart to leave her there like that.

"Cassie…"

"Yes?"

"Sam cares about him. She needs our support and understanding." She looked up at him and he knew her well enough to recognize that look. She was searching his face for answers.

"Friendship?"

"Friendship."

"It's just difficult…"

"I know it is. But give it all a chance, okay?"

"I will try."

"Good…"

And then finally she let him go, reluctantly, still feeling a bit blue.

Jack left in his car and had real trouble with keeping his tears in check. This was all so wicked wrong. What the hell…? Hopefully Cassie would find something good about that man. If Carter really was serious about him, they would be seeing him around more often.

He looked back at that day. At his present. Yes, he had those two boxes but in the end he really kept them both and figured another present instead. He was sure that Carter would see right through him but he didn't care. This was more for fun…

He gave her seasonal tickets to the Planetarium nearby. And of course, he left her a note. This time saying "try to count those you have already visited… or been in the neighborhood." She laughed and gave him a hug and he had just no idea how happy that had made her. It was definitely better than all the present from Pete. He was just trying a bit too much.

Jack knew that Daniel would try to approach and talk to him. And he still couldn't decide – what should he tell him? How should he act? He just didn't know. It was too early for him to face everything. Sometimes he really wished he could disappear.

And Daniel tried to talk to him indeed. Every time something would interrupt them. Daniel was almost sure that Jack had planned half of the things just to make sure that they would never have that particular conversation. He didn't want to push him, he just knew him well enough to know, that something was definitely wrong. And he was just worried that it would affect more than just Jack's mood.

And Jack knew it too. He knew he should at least try to do something about his attitude. But it was difficult. Different realities were pulling at his arms, wanting to swallow him whole and never let go.

Anyway, he decided to try harder. Carter needed his friendship. And he had promised himself and her father a very long ago that he would always do all in his powers and beyond to keep an eye on her, to keep her alive and save. He wouldn't want to spoil it.

They barely talked, lunches, dinners, suppers, midnight snacks and breakfasts, all was half the fun it used to be. And there was nobody to bring her coffee and pie or a cookie in the middle of a night, making sure she was okay, fed and taken care of. It was sweet when Jack used to do that. But the situation had changed. And Sam knew very well what the reason was. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about it, about everything, about her choices and the reasons. But the only result she would always get was a headache. And heartache – she missed the friendship very much. She missed _him_.

As usually, life decided that it was time for a change, for some real trauma, serious troubles and near-death situations. And yep, to make it all 'better' both jaffa and the Tok'Ra had to be involved as well as people from Earth. It was not supposed to happen. Well, almost everything that ever happened on this base had never been supposed to happen in the first place. But well…

So then Jack was pacing the control room, briefing room, infirmary, commissary, Carter's lab… every time when he got excluded from the meeting, from all the negotiating between all the important men in the world, he could only pace. Or perhaps throwing a punch into seemed like a good idea. The wall thought otherwise.

When he woke up from the shock and mild anesthetics (or maybe from something more… he was sure that Fraiser wouldn't hesitate…) he heard Janet and Daniel talking. And it was not a good thing to be overheard. He was living with him in his head, his body and soul, all his scars and cuts. He really didn't need any of his people talking about him like that.

Yes, he missed Carter. Yes, it was more or less his fault. Yes, she was and always would be be the best of the best things that had ever happened to him. And yes, he cared about her. But why all the personnel knew? That was just crazy, plain crazy.

So what, she was somewhere off-world fighting for her life with a killing machine on her trail. Who wouldn't be excited?

Jack had lots and lots of time to think. He didn't want to because he knew what the result would be but he did it anyway. Actually, he was forced. With Sam missing, Jacob being in rather bad shape and intergalactic problem going on, it was almost impossible for him to leave the base. But then Cassie called and as always, that was enough.

He met her at the playground where they had taken her all those years ago. It was the playground when she got her dog from him, where she learned how to swing and all. They sat down onto a bench there and kept on watching the kids. They talked about some non-important things first. Then the topic shifted, as usually.

"You think she's dead?" She asked him bluntly, openly, honestly.

"No." He answered without hesitation.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it's Carter." He tried to reason with her but she looked at him and he knew that she was not buying this attitude. Not anymore.

"I just know."

"How?"

"Okay… do you think she's dead?"

"No. But you could show me her body and I still would think the same… I just can't accept her death." She had tears in her eyes and a lump appeared in her throat.

"Cassie… " He couldn't name it but there was something in her voice… the depth of her feelings for Carter almost scared him. What would happen to her in case Carter would really … die?

"All right all right… just promise me you will bring her back."

"I will do my best…"

"Promise me!"

She was crying openly then. He hugged her and let her cry in his arms. God, he was worried too. But as far as he knew Carter was being hunted but alive. It had to be true.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"She just can't be dead… I want to tell her so many things…. I want her to know…" She whispered that to him, half broken, worried sick. And that simple statement made him realize something.

He also had things he wanted her to know.

So he started to think and it was difficult and stupid and it hurt and troubled him, but it was necessary. He dropped Cassie at home and then went back to the base. He was sure that they would find Carter and bring her home. There was no other option.

Off-world in the meantime Sam was fighting for her life. She was exhausted and didn't know what to do. She lost track of time, hours seemed like days and on the other hand those days could have been minutes. She just didn't know. She was confused and ready to give up.

She was hiding, trying to find a place where to rest. She needed it so much. She was scared. But deep down she knew that her team would come and find her, help her, rescue her. She was sure of it. Those guys were close to her like her own family. And they would never ever leave a person behind. Not again. Colonel O'Neill wouldn't allow that…

Colonel Jack O'Neill. She missed him so much. It was just not fair! Why it seemed like they couldn't be more than friends and also they couldn't be only friends? It wasn't working for them! He was letting her go, he was letting her date Pete and plan life with him, he wasn't fighting for her. She pushed him away? Or did she just give up on them and on all the waiting?

She cried while thinking about all the little precious moments they'd spent together. All the jokes and small touches, the comfort and anger. Everything made sense back then, she was sure that they would just wait and see and then have a life together. And then years passed and she could feel her future slipping from her fingers. So in reaction to that, she agreed and had a date with her brother's friend. She was settling and she knew it. Dating Pete was like proving herself that she could do it, that she could be normal and have a life. But was this the right thing to do?

Could she really be so sure? How could she base her decisions on memory of talk she had with a fragment of her own imagination?

She was so tired… she also realized that it would never matter again. The love she felt for her CO would always be there, kept as a secret, hidden down in her heart. As she knew Jack, it would be the same for him. But it obviously hurt too much to live with it. So she tried to cover it with a relationship. And his answer was distance.

It hurt and it hurt badly but somehow she could understand. It made sense. They were never good at talking and dealing with things. Maybe they should have…

She tried to imagine him coming to her now, on this planet and saving her, letting her rest in his arms and then taking her home. Was it possible for them to talk now? To deal with it? Or was it impossible? She was about to crawl behind a tree and break down, give up and pass out. Her life was supposed to get better with a steady relationship with nice kind guy and instead of that it was a mess.

Later, much later, she was sitting next to her CO. She could see the affection in his eyes. He was worried about her. She noticed that Teal'c was giving them some privacy and she was glad for that. For some reason she refused to name, she wanted to be alone with Jack. She needed it. She was afraid that he would push her away but instead of that he let her rest in his arms. At first she just put her head on his shoulder but then he sighed and brought her closer.

She needed some time before going back. And he was not letting her go.

Jack asked Teal'c to go to the Gate and let them know on Earth that they found her and that they would head back in about an hour or two. He also wanted science team to get there and secure the area and all the remaining things.

When Teal'c walked back to the place where his two friends were resting, he had to stop and take a breath. He knew them both well, he knew that the situation with Major Carter's love interest had damaged the friendship and somehow he failed to see all the reasons. He strongly believed that his two team-mates would eventually find their path and that they would walk on it together. His heart ached for them.

So seeing them like that made him hurt again and it also made him proud. They seemed to find some peace at last. They moved, they were sitting on the ground, Major Carter was resting more fully in O'Neill's arms, sleeping. O'Neill was having her arm around her, holding her and his face looked troubled and yet … much calmer than few hours ago.

He gave them some time and then joined them. Without a word he sat down and guarded them. Sam woke up then, apologized, found herself joking around with her CO and she actually liked it. It almost felt like before… it was comfortable and nice. She was bleeding, hurting and she was too exhausted to walk straight but she felt actually better than during the last few weeks.

Jack knew that this was the first step he had to do. And others would follow. He was not about to lose her again. Not. Ever. She was too dear to him, he cared too much. And he needed to lose her yet again to find the strength to do _something._

In the next few days things were rough on the base, everything was wrong and people were tensed. The whole jaffa – Tok'Ra thing was not helping anyone. Besides Jacob had to leave way too early for their liking.

In a week Sam woke up and found herself surrounded by the best people from her life. Janet was just checking on her IV. She smiled at her and Sam could only smile back. She looked around. Teal'c was meditating on another bed. Daniel was sitting in a chair by her legs, sleeping in what looked like very uncomfortable position. And then on the ground she noticed her CO, sitting, leaning against the wall, Cassie sleeping snuggled to him. They were covered in a blanket. That sight warmed her heart.

"Hey…" Sam whispered at Janet.

"Hey… how are you feeling?"

"You don't want to know." Sam replied. She sounded tired.

"I kept on you on the really strong stuff through the week. I switched to something milder. You should be awake more but it might be uncomfortable. I need you to tell me if you are in any serious pain."

"No… just feel tired."

"That's to be expected. But it should be better already in the morning." Janet told her and Sam just smiled and nodded.

"What about them?"

"I told them you should be in better shape in the morning so they all decided to stay." And they both had to smile again. Usually only one person would be there, waiting for the good news. It was the way they worked. All of them would be there through the darkest times. While 'just' waiting for the person to get better, they would take shifts. It warmed Sam's heart to see them all there.

"Sleep… we'll talk in the morning, okay?" And before Sam managed to answer her, she was already half asleep.

Janet noticed that she looked better indeed. And she also seemed to enjoy the view. It looked like Sam had been worried that she'd be alone. Janet thought about it and understood. There used to be real tension between her and her CO and it was affecting the whole team. So this incident maybe did something good indeed.

Later, much later, they were about to go on a mission, without Sam. She was forced to stay home. She was better but still pretty tired. They all knew that she would be protesting at first but in the end she would just enjoy being at home, eating, spending time in her pajamas and reading books and watching movies.

Jack was working in his bedroom, fixing some shelves and he came across one box. The box which contained small presents he had for Carter. Things were getting better between them, slowly, it took lots of effort and trying, it was difficult and somehow ridiculous but they were working on making their friendship work again.

In a heartbeat he took a small box from the big one, wrote down a note and drove over to Carter's place. Maybe it was time for them to talk, no obligations, just talk… So he was really surprised when it was her cop that opened the door. It hurt yet again, knowing and understanding. But he forced all his feelings and emotions down.

"Hey…"

"O'Neill."

"Yeah… is Carter around?"

"Sure…"

"Can I talk to her?"

The cop seemed to be unpleasantly surprised by his visit. He just nodded and walked inside. Jack wanted to follow him but for the sake of his own heart and mind he decided to stay outside. Soon Carter came, dressed in sweats and old t-shirt. She looked better. She smiled at him and closed the door behind her. That surprised him. But he was on a mission and there was no way in hell he would let his ego and deep feelings screw this up.

"Sir…"

"Hey Carter… how are you?"

"Fine…" She answered but he could hear it in her voice – she was everything but fine.

"What? You finished all the new books already?" He asked. She just chuckled. He knew her that well to know that she was buying new books regularly, both scientific and … other. And then while being forced to stay at home, she would read them all.

"But you are not at home for so long… you just couldn't have watched all the movies hidden under your couch." At that she just smacked his arm playfully. He was not supposed to know about that!

"Hey, that hurt."

"Really, Sir?" She smiled at him.

"So… you okay?" And then he understood. She looked … different.

"Yes, Sir, I'm fine… just not used to this."

"Being at home whole day and not being alone?" Bingo. Her eyes told him that he had just nailed it.

"In a way…" She admitted. And looked into his eyes.

The connection was still there and Jack wanted to do something about it. But her boyfriend was behind the door, sitting on the couch in her living room. He just couldn't do a thing. No, it had to be her call. And she knew it and it scared her. They were back where they started…

He sensed the discomfort he had helped to create partially. He reached into his pocket and gave her the small box.

"Sir?"

"Don't think about, Sam."

"But… that's…." She recognized the box and they both knew it. And he just closed her fingers around it. He had to pull away soon because it was just too much for him to have her hand in his, their fingers touching. He couldn't do that, not back then… it was too much.

"Yeah... I was supposed to give you this when you had your birthday but I was, as before, acting like a real jerk, so... Please, take it now."

She could see the emotions on his face. Before she managed to say a thing, he nodded at her, wished her nice afternoon and then left.

Sam was staring at the box and her heart was beating erratically. She walked inside and realized that Pete was there. For some unknown reason she felt guilty about having that present. It was part of something bigger, something she wasn't ready to share. She put it into her coat's pocket and walked to the living room.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, he was just passing by so he stopped by to ask how I was."

"Could have called…" He tried to supply.

"This is what we do… it's a team thing." She stated firmly and tried very hard not to let her emotions show on her face.

In few hours Pete had to go so she was suddenly alone at home. It was just getting dark. She remembered the box and went to retrieve it.

She sat down again and opened it. There was a note there saying "Happy birthday, Sam. Thank you for being you. Always your friend, J." She felt tears in her eyes and pain in her heart. Friend. That was all they would ever be, friends, because she had chosen so.

She looked inside the box and found a pendant there. Yes, she knew that there would be something coming to join the necklace. And of course it would be a star. One lovely star, gently decorated with small diamonds, delicate, elegant and … perfect. Light and beautiful.

She walked into her bedroom and found the rest of the jewelry. She put the box next to others and placed the pendant on the necklace. It was a perfect match. Along with the bracelet and earrings the set was complete and breathtaking. Hers. From him. And nobody knew… well maybe somebody suspected by nobody knew.

After an hour or two of thinking and crying and pacing her house, she just changed and took her car. Janet would probably kill her if she found out about it. She drove over to the planetarium close by Colorado Springs. She had a ticket with unlimited access for the whole year after all.

She walked inside and found a young woman there.

"Claudia, hey…"

"Sam! Hey… what are you doing here so late?"

Sam showed her the ticket with a smile.

"Enjoying my birthday present."

"But you don't need that… you can come anytime you want. You know I would let you in."

"I know… but it was a gift and I love it. I won't have to be sneaking around anymore." She told her with a grin.

"Which reminds me… I have something for you as well."

"Why?"

"I know you had birthday!"

Claudia Reichs, her former colleague from both Academy and SGC then walked to her table and after few moment of digging she gave her something. It was a card. It was an entrance card! She got access to areas where no visitors were allowed.

"Claudia…"

"I talked to my boss. I mentioned your name. And she offered this." She told her and Sam was very happy.

"Thank her for me, okay?"

"I will… now will you tell me why are you here? Do I have to worry about some ships heading here, crazy angry aliens, allies in troubles or something like that?" She asked. Sam just smiled at her.

"No… I just noticed how clear the sky was today and I just wanted to take a look. If I may…"

"Be my guest."

Claudia let her use the telescope then. Sam was actually glad that somebody here knew about the SGC, it was much easier to be there, to talk and sometimes to think out loud. But right now she was here to try to count and name all the stars she had already seen or been close to as her very good friend once suggested.

Their relationship was a mess but maybe their friendship had a chance. Maybe at least somewhere up here among the stars where no problems existed, just wonders and science, all perfectly balanced.

Jack was sitting on his roof, watching the sky and thinking… he noticed some really bright stars and was proud of himself that he could name them. Especially some he had learned about only few months ago. The sky was still full of wonders and surprises. And he loved them all. Sometimes he felt like he belonged up there and not to Earth anymore.

He had no idea that Carter had sneaked out of her house and was doing exactly the same thing, watching the stars, thinking, hoping, searching her soul… although she had a bigger telescope to play with.


	5. Missing piece part 1

_**A/N**: So here we are with the last chapter – I know, no excuses possible for the delay, I'm sorry!_

_I have to warn you though – this is very romantic (at least I think so) and should let you enjoy the possible development in Sam and Jack's relationship. And yes, we can still think (if we want to) that this could have happened on the show :o) I'd like that actually :o)_

_**Episodes**** mentioned** – there are some references to Threads in here… and as usually the general stuff._

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 – Missing Piece<br>**

Sam Carter was standing at the door to her bedroom, watching Cassie sitting there, reading a book, curled into her big warm bed. They had a nice morning. Of course Cassie was still having her room at her house but that had never stopped them from spending some time in Sam's bedroom before, so why should it now?

It almost felt like years ago, when Cassie was still a kid. She would knock on Sam's door and climb into the bed then. They would lie there, sleep perhaps, talk, read a book and then move it to the living room. Still dressed in pajamas they would have breakfast and watch a movie on Saturday mornings. It was their thing, their bonding time.

This morning Cassie came in, knocking at her door, smiling. It was really early but that didn't matter to them. Sam could just grin back at her. Some things would never get old or boring.

"Hey…"

"Did I wake you?"

"No… you wanna climb in?"

"Yeah…" Cassie answered with a huge smile on her face. She climbed in and they talked about Cassie's boyfriend and about school, about new movies and their favorite ones, they talked about their friends and also about their plans.

Eventually they fell asleep. Sam woke up later and went to the kitchen to fix them some breakfast. Cassie was still sleeping that time, looking way too comfortable and peaceful to be disturbed.

Sam got lost in thoughts a bit in the kitchen while making coffee.

It was December and they were supposed to go to Washington to visit Jack. He had just moved in few weeks ago. He was still settling in but they didn't want to miss the Christmas. Even Daniel would be able to make it. Teal'c couldn't but he was spending the time with his son and that was something they all could understand.

Sam still couldn't believe what had happened during the last few months. It was all still a bit difficult to process. All the changes in her life were still somehow scary. Some of them were welcomed though. It was a strange mix. Well, nothing new in her adult life, huh?

It all started with losing her father. She was devastated, no matter what she had told her friends and her brother. She was still missing her dad terribly. And she also felt a bit guilty. His death showed her many things, most of all it opened her eyes. She decided not to settle, she decided to grasp the hope she was feeling and she also decided to do something about her life.

And so she broke off her engagement. In the end the marriage would end badly anyway. She knew it, she had always suspected it but never wanted to see it and acknowledge it. No, she needed the relationship, she needed the opportunity, she needed it to sort everything out. It wasn't fair to Pete and she was still sorry for the pain she caused him.

Few weeks after she lost her dad, only short while after the funeral, she did something she should have done years ago. She agreed. And had no regrets about doing so.

And so she spent the most beautiful week at Jack's cabin, fishing in pond with no fish, watching stars and being lazy, going for long walks and enjoying every single minute of it. They all were missing her father so few tears every now and then were allowed, they kept on trading stories, laughing and it felt so so good. Several times she found herself leaning towards her CO for support and to her surprise, he was fine with it. So they hugged, snuggled, they felt asleep together on the couch. Guys didn't comment it and it felt too good to doubt or spoil with possible problems and upcoming issues.

No, her father's death showed her that life was indeed too short. And she had already given up too much. She was not about to give up more unless very necessary. Maybe not even then.

Sam knew that they had a lot to talk about. She knew that the trip to the cabin was a perfect opportunity for doing so but she just couldn't. She was worried and besides she didn't want to spoil it. Her former CO seemed to be okay with it though. He kissed her cheek once and said something silly like good morning Sam and then helped her with breakfast. It felt so natural. She kept on smiling whole day.

Once in the evening she just couldn't hold back the emotions. She had no idea how it happened but she felt the weight of the loss on her shoulders again. She just stood in the kitchen and her knees gave up on her. She knew that it was one of the breaking points while dealing with something so horrible as losing a parent was. It didn't make it any easier though. However, Jack found her. And he just sat down to her, pulled her into his arms and let her cry.

Daniel found them but Sam was oblivious to her surroundings. He noticed Jack, holding her, crying with her, supporting her, whispering something into her hair. His heart broke – for his friend, for her father, for all of them. He left, knowing Jack would take care of Sam. On his way out he took a bottle of whiskey along. He needed a drink. In the backyard he had more than just one, while Teal'c was sitting there, grieving in his own way and yet looking after him.

When Sam stopped crying, Jack just let her calm down a bit. Then he helped her up and led her to bed. She didn't argue. She was beyond exhausted. He made her lie down. But when he wanted to leave, she didn't let him. She wanted him there, she needed him. And so he hugged her. He didn't have the heart to leave her. No. Never. He kept on talking to her and to holding her, till she was sleeping.

Jack found Daniel sleeping on the couch, Teal'c resting near-by. He figured what happened and after short talk with Teal'c he had it confirmed. He needed that drink himself. After cleaning up the house he just went back to check up on Carter. She was sitting on the bed, awake.

"Hey…"

"Sir…"

"You're supposed to be sleeping now."

And she knew she was not supposed to thank or apologize. It would just make things awkward. She had some question though.

"Daniel? Teal'c?"

"Daniel got drunk and he's sleeping on my couch now. Teal'c seemed to be fine."

"Daniel got drunk?"

"Yeah… " And Sam noticed how uncomfortable her CO suddenly seemed to be.

"He misses him too…" She figured out. Jack could only nod. And then came closer. He wanted to tug her in again. It was supposed to be a joke, at least partially. They needed it, both of them. But then she noticed his face, his eyes and it her again. They all were missing her dad. She just reached for Jack's hand and silently asked him to stay with her. And after a moment of hesitation, he nodded and crawled under the covers.

They managed to get some sleep. In the morning guys were up and let her sleep. When she woke up, it was nearly lunchtime. They all seemed to be okay, no questions, no pushing or wanting to know. No, they knew her way too well. Jack just smiled at her and nodded, at which she could just do the same. The silent conversation of 'thank you' was working for them. Again.

SG-1 spent their day together, they talked and went for another walk. They were enjoying it but something distracting had crept in. They all knew they would go their separate ways one day… and that day was about to come very soon. They knew and yet they still were worried about it coming. It seemed to be so difficult to accept. For all of them.

She would never forget the moment when they had been told about the decision. Jack O'Neill was being promoted and he was about to take Hammond's job in Washington. He was leaving the SGC, he was leaving them. He assured them of course that it was okay, that he was okay with it, that he owed it to Hammond and that he could use the change but still it would feel really weird not having him around.

Later he stopped by her lab and brought her dinner.

"Sir!"

"Hey, Carter… you busy?" He asked with a smile on his face. He knew her too well.

"Sorry, Sir. Just trying to wrap up this little thing… what can I do for you?"

"You can sit down and have dinner with me."

Then she noticed the stuff he brought along. She didn't know what to think and she got a bit scared.

Jack knew that coming to her like that would be considered as tricky and wrong, he needed it though. There was this thing he had to tell her and he just couldn't do it anywhere else. No, her lab was perfect for it. They had shared so much in there over the years during their late night talks, dinners, snacks, the place had been through a lot with them. It was in a way their sanctuary.

Sam smiled back at him and tried to clean the table. It was an impossible task though.

"Would you mind sitting on the ground?" She offered.

And Jack could just shrug and so they made themselves comfortable on the ground, leaning against the wall, the only spot free of machines and stuff. And they had their dinner while talking about all those not so important things.

"Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"Not that I'm complaining, I was actually really hungry.. but … why?"

"We need to talk, Sam."

"Sir?" She was afraid that it would come sooner or later. It had to, especially after everything that had taken place at his cabin… She just didn't know how to react right there and then, on the base.

"You looked kinda hurt by my decision to take over old George's position."

"Oh…" She so didn't expect that.

"So?"

"I don't know, Sir… it won't be the same here without you."

"I know… I'll have to order someone to keep on bringing you food… But no late-night dates…" He tried to joke. And it earned him a playful smack on his arm and one genuine smile.

"What I mean is, Sir, that I'm going to miss you." She admitted, softly, finally. Out loud.

"Well, for what's worth, I'm gonna miss you too." And neither could believe he had just admitted that – out loud as well.

"Sir… is there anything else?"

"Why?"

"It just feels like you're trying to say something…"

"Carter…"

"Just say it. We've been friends for years, you know you can say anything…" And after few long moments of shared deep look, he nodded. He couldn't make himself to say it though. Then she reached over and took his hand in hers. And that did the trick.

"There's one thing about the promotion. One that I actually like."

"Which would hardly be the paperwork…" She said and he smirked. She knew him too well.

"You know… they're actually discussing if it is a good idea to leave a person like me in direct chain of command to the SGC. They want the guy that's gonna run this place to be reporting directly to the President."

"You make it sound like a bad thing…"

"It's not bad at all actually. I won't be in the direct chain of command but I will be supervising and fighting for you, you know? Leader of this base would be reporting to the White House but I would still be the one they call in need, in troubles… they're still working on the exact process."

He wasn't able to look at her then. And she got confused. She put her other hand on his face and made him look at her. She knew, it was yet another bold move but it felt like a necessary one to make.

"Sir?"

"Yeah…"

"And you're telling me because…" And he looked into her eyes so she would get the chance to see the real him, bared soul and heart, no walls to protect him.

"I'm telling you because of the thing we never talk about, Carter!"

"Thing?"

"Come on… our thing? What I mean is, by this we might be getting the chance… and not only for talking about it. We might actually…"

"… take it out from all the rooms?" And they both knew that it was not just about the room with Anise and that horrible machine. They had made many sacrifices through the years.

Their gazes locked, all the implications loud and clear, visible to the naked eye. This was it, this was their chance, their big step. This was the opportunity they've been waiting for. It could be a major change. Jack sensed her worries, he knew she had doubts about the decision, he used to have them too. But he had them no more.

"Sam…it's up to you."

"No, it can't be up to me. We both have to…" She started to speak really fast. He stopped her though.

"Carter, I'm moving to Washington, I'm taking a desk-job with lots of paperwork and no real action, I won't be coming through the Gate anymore and I won't have the chance to see any of those friends we've made through the years… just put it all together for crying out loud!" He was looking a bit frustrated but he was also smiling.

She looked dumbfounded for a moment but then it all clicked. Her eyes were bright and sparkling, she seemed to be so radiant and filled with energy. She looked… surprised and really happy.

"You're saying…"

"I'm saying…"

And they both knew it. They both were on the same wave. They might be getting their chance.

Sam would always remember the hug and the kiss he had given her. It was short and sweet, just a peck on her lips but it was a promise of so much more to come.

They managed to meet few times since then. They had dinner and lunch, he visited her on the base and they talked over the phone. They haven't labeled their relationship yet and they haven't done anything more than hugging and cuddling on his couch. They were still waiting for their first proper kiss as well.

That was the reason why she was so nervous about the upcoming trip. She was about to go there and spend the time with her family. She was about to make the final step, she was sure of it. She got tired of waiting and pretending, of being cautious. No, now it was the right time for acting on those long time ago deep buried feelings.

Cassie looked up and saw Sam, standing there, thinking obviously.

"Hey… Earth to Sam…."

Carter knew she must have zoned out for a moment. She smiled at Cassie and brought the breakfast. They had it in her bed of course. Why not to be comfortable, huh?

"So… what's the plan?"

"Well, I have the whole week off. We can do anything we want to."

"And when are we leaving? You talked to Jack?"

"Yes, I talked to him. He said he had a meeting on the 23rd in the morning. Something he couldn't skip."

"He can't be happy about that."

"No, he can't. However, we can come anytime we want to."

"You have a key?"

"Eh…. Not yet."

"Not yet? Sam! Spill!" She seemed to be way too excited.

"Not like that! Geeez, Cassie… you have more of your mother in you than you think… I swear… He told me he would send a car for us with someone we know."

"That someone will have your keys?"

"I suppose."

"That's gonna be adventurous… He's planning on something."

"You think?"

"It's Jack… he will either want to take us somewhere or there will be something in his house…"

And Sam could easily picture many different scenarios. Oh yes, this was about to be really adventurous. They talked some more, finished their breakfast and then went shopping. Cassie needed some more presents and Sam was just wandering around with her, enjoying her enthusiasm. They were actually also on a hunt. Cassie was about to attend this gala evening with Daniel in January. He was taking her along with him somewhere. He said it would be good for her to meet some new people and enjoy the real thing with gowns and tuxedos, life music and all. He refused to tell her where it would be but he told her to wear a gown and just let him know the color.

In the afternoon, after having very tasty and very unhealthy lunch, Cassie found her gown. It was dark green and it seemed to be sparkling somehow. It was elegant, rich and yet very simple. She was worried about the price though.

"Don't worry… we have it covered."

And Cassie wanted to ask, wanted to know and yet she decided not to say a thing. She thanked Sam, hugged her and they bought the gown. Sam knew that once she would have to tell her about the money Janet had left for her and about the other … fund she had, created by her family for her, to give her some good start in her adult life. But she, thankfully, didn't have to do that right then.

"So… now we need shoes and jewellery."

"I don't know Sam…"

"Actually we could just try to find you some shoes."

"Saaaam?" Cassie knew Sam was onto something.

"I'll show you when we're back, okay?"

"Sam… you have something that would go with this?"

"Maybe…" And smiling, she led her favorite girl on this planet back home.

Sam knew that showing Cassie her jewellery collection would raise some questions but maybe it was about time she talked about her mother and her grandmother, about her childhood and all the good and pretty memories. Besides, few years ago she talked to Janet about this. There were things running in the family and she wanted to give some to Cassie. She was asking Janet for her permission then. And of course, she got it.

Besides right then, Cassie would surely appreciate all the stories. And yes, she really had a necklace and earrings that would go nicely with the gown. It was a gift from her grandmother. She wanted her to have them and to enjoy them, to use them wisely and for the best occasions. And Cassie's first big gala was such an occasion for sure.

They had dinner, watched a movie, talked some more and then went to the bedroom. Sam brought some boxes, from her drawers, from her wardrobe and one even from under her bed. She put them in front of Cassie and let her open them.

Every piece they found had its story. She didn't have many but she had valuable things. To her they were priceless. She loved them from the bottom of her heart. And indeed, Cassie was absolutely thrilled about the set Sam had on mind for the gala. They both felt like crying then, moved and happy, sharing something deep and important.

Sam didn't tell her about the plan of giving something to her. She wanted to leave that for some other time, more proper time.

However than Cassie noticed something. One box was put away and it wasn't opened.

"Sam? What's in there?"

And Carter knew she had forgotten one story. She even put it all together, the whole set and all the notes. It was a dangerous thing to do but it felt pretty good to have it all at one place. Before she managed to stop Cassie, the curious young woman opened the box and found the small blue cases along with notes.

"Sam?"

"These are … gifts."

"And who gave them to you?"

"Someone close. Important." She couldn't believe it but her throat was closing up with choked emotions. She just couldn't, and frankly didn't want to, say anything else. Or did she?

Cassie knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help it. She took out the notes and read them, she took out the jewellery to admire the beauty of it.

"Sam this is perfect. It all goes together so nicely… it's so delicate… masterpieces."

"I know."

"But there's one missing."

"Missing?" Sam couldn't believe it! She took the box from Cassie's hands and did a quick counting.

"No, it's all…" And she was relieved to say so.

"No, it's not. There is no ring."

"What?"

"I mean… obviously, the whole set is complete but there is no ring. There should be a ring…"

"Ring?"

"Yeah, I'd say white gold with a little diamond and a little star. You didn't get the ring?"

Sam was speechless. A ring? _Ring?_ She couldn't just accept that… was it possible? Could it be? No! Or maybe? Cassie noticed the shock and blush creeping up Sam's neck, she noticed the look filled with anxiety. Something was going on and she had no idea about what it was. Why would Sam react like that? It was just a ring… Unless…

"These all are from Jack, aren't they? Through the years…"

"Cassie…"

"He gave them to you."

And Sam could only nod.

"Sam…" Cassie whispered, came over and gave her a hug. She knew how difficult it had been for those two. Others kept her in the loop, well depending on her age. But now she knew about most of the things that had happened. Guys thought it would be wise to keep her posted and informed just in case. She knew about the issues and about the feelings, all of them. And because of that many things she hadn't understood through the years were making sense now.

However, she had no idea about the presidential plan of not putting the Head of Homeworld Security into the direct chain of command over the Stargate. Nobody knew. Just Sam and Jack. And they loved it. So now Cassie had no idea about what to think or do.

Sam, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking. Ring? Really? A ring? The ring? No, he wouldn't do that. He was just giving her the jewels because he cared about her, because he knew how much she loved stars, because he knew from her father about the admiration she had for earrings made from white gold.

These little boxes and notes were reminders. They kept on reminding her of what she had lost, of what she had missed and let slip through her fingers. They were also telling a story about two people caring for each other so much that it could hurt and yet not doing a thing about it because of their duties. Those jewels were telling a story of love, hope and sacrifices. And also friendship, of course.

Oh, she missed Jack so much.

But they were about to come to Washington to visit him in a little less than a week. And she knew that George Hammond would be in the car waiting for them, she just didn't want to tell Cassie that. She still could have few surprises in her sleeves, huh?

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><p><em>AN: And because I have no time I'm gonna split this chapter in two so you don't have to wait that long for at least some update :o)) Now – I have it planned but – if you want something to happen, lemme know. And I know – the ring thing… hehe :o)) But trust me – nothing is as it seems at first – not with me and my stories :o))_


	6. Missing piece  part 2

_**A/N**: Sorry about the delay, I was really having a rough time. But here you are with the promised end – pure fluff :o)) Hope you'll be happy and satisfied. But if you are missing something here just lemme know. I'll try to fix it :o) I have few ideas what you might eventually ask about so we'll see how it goes :o) I probably won't be around till 21 November to answer you and get back to you so have patience with me please :o)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 (or six if you want to) – Missing Piece – part two<strong>

Soon it was time to pack and leave Colorado Springs. Sam was flying with Cassie. Daniel was about to join them later. He got stuck off-world and he wouldn't make it for the morning flight. Girls wanted to wait for him but he told them not to. So they were standing at the airport now, getting ready to face the Christmas.

The flight was nice. Of course it was. They were a bit surprised though. Sam bought them the tickets, she organized everything and then, while boarding, an officer approached them, saluted her, which she really didn't like because she was having vacation and wasn't even wearing her uniform, and presented her with a little update. So they got seated in the First Class.

"Sam what happened?"

"You can guess…" And she handed her the note she had been given.

Cassie took it and opened it. It was short and simple "Try the double-chocolate cake!" and it made her laugh. And of course, they tried it. The stewardess was able to keep Sam's identity as a secret. She was calling her Doctor Carter and Sam was grateful for that. It was nice to be viewed as normal person, at least sometimes. But well, there were some really pretty things coming along with her rank and position. And of course, with her contacts as well… like Jack O'Neill and his influence. And the cake. Which was heaven actually. She knew that Jack had to be enjoying this.

Well, he was. Jack knew that Carter would say something like that it wasn't necessary but he liked it when he could take care of his girls. And providing them with better seats? That was nothing. He wanted to be the one to pick them up, he wanted to give them the nice tour and take them out for lunch but because of the meeting he had to attend, he couldn't. So this was at least something. And asking old George to be the one to pick them up, yeah.

He was spending one last day in Washington before flying back home. And seeing Cassie and Carter seemed to cheer him up even more. He didn't manage too many visits during the last few months and he missed them.

Jack didn't manage to keep it as a secret though. He was having Carter on the phone, one of their late night can't sleep miss you calls, actually enjoying talking to her…

"_No, I'm sorry Carter, I can't pick you up actually…"_

"_Ehm… that's okay." But she knew that her voice was clouded with emotions. It was happening more and more often when she was talking to him. Her mask seemed to be slipping away._

"_Sam… I'd love to be there, you know that, right?"_

"_I know. It's just…"_

"_Carter…" And now even his voice was filled with something… different._

"_I'm sorry… So… what's with the meeting?"_

"_No, don't change the subject! First, it's my thing and then I hope we're past that… mostly."_

"_Sir? Just cut it… it's okay. We'll come later, sometimes in the afternoon."_

"_No, you come in the morning, just send me the flight info, all right? I'll send someone to pick you up and …"_

"_No, that's not necessary."_

"_No?"_

"_No."_

"_And what if I tell you that this guy waiting for you with open arms and big smile on his face is one and only George Hammond, huh?"_

"_Sir, really?" She sounded excited somehow._

"_Yeah, we talked about it. He's leaving in the afternoon so he can give you a ride in the morning, you can catch up a bit and besides he will have keys to my house so you can just … make yourself comfortable while I'll be trying not to shoot anyone."_

"_That bad meeting?"_

"_You have no idea… So…?"_

"_All right. All right…"_

"_Good."_

"_Jack?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Nothing…"_

Sam was smiling while recalling that conversation. They were already in Washington, having early lunch with George Hammond. She hadn't seen Cassie so excited in months. She was missing him as much as… all of them.

"Sam? You okay?"

"Yes, Sir, I'm sorry."

"Thinking about something…" He asked with knowing look and smile on his face.

"Try someone…" Cassie supplied before digging into her lunch.

"Cass!"

"Come on, Sam. No more hiding, okay?"

He just reached over the table then and took her hand in his. Oh she really did miss him pretty much.

"Besides I know what's going on. I know the options…" And they way he was looking into her eyes made her understood. He knew! He knew about the plan, about the possibility, he knew that this time they might get their chance… And he couldn't believe it.

Then he gave her a box wrapped in paper.

"What is it?"

"You know I was having some of Jake's things, right?" He asked her and she could only nod. The wound left by her father's dead still had the ability to bleed sometimes.

"Sir?"

"A present he had for you… I didn't know about it. I found it last week. I guess he just added it among the stuff the last time he was on Earth."

"Should I open it?"

"That's up to you…"

She wasn't sure about what do to with it but Cassie told her to save it.

"You're gonna know when to open it… trust me." And she did that. She knew Cassie had been through the same thing. They found some of Janet's things and she wanted to take a look but couldn't. So she waited till she could.

Their day was gone rather quickly. There was no word from Jack though. Hammond told them to have nice Christmas, he wished them all the best he could, they promised each other to stay in touch and then he took them to Jack's house. He gave Sam the keys and hugged her.

"I guess you're not about to give these back…"

"Sir…"

"You know you can call me George, right?"

"Habit…"

He looked into her eyes then. And he saw the little girl she used to be all those long, very long years ago. He also saw the young woman marching through the briefing room, putting Jack into place and balancing way too dangerously on some thin lines. And he saw the fine woman she had become, the scientist, genius, friend, human… and he was proud of her, so proud of her.

"Sam, don't waste the chance, okay? You've waited too long… life's not gonna wait for you."

She smiled at him, knowing way too well what he was talking about.

"Don't worry."

"I promised your father…"

"That you would take care of me?"

"Well he wanted me to promise him that I would kick your lovely backside but well…"

And so he made her smile. He kissed her forehead, hugged her, shared another hug with Cassie, they talked for a moment and then he left.

"I miss him already."

"Me too, Cass, me too."

"So, are we going inside or what?"

And grinning they went inside. The house was big. Not huge but it was big. Suitable for one larger family actually. Master bedroom, two quest rooms, one bathroom, big living room, nice hall, cozy kitchen, little backyard and garage. There was also a basement. And as Sam knew, there was also a small bathroom joined to the master bedroom and little space on the roof. They were almost outside the city so the chance of seeing some stars was a bit better than in the city. She also suspected that one of the smaller rooms was a home-office. Not that Jack would ever admit it.

They found a note on the table saying "Take a shower, change and be ready, lunch is on me". Sadly it was late in the afternoon already. Jack hadn't managed. Sam knew he'd be angry. But they could understand. Daniel sent her a message that he got stuck and that he would arrive early in the morning. With a bit of help he managed to get a ticket which was a small miracle.

Carter tried calling O'Neill few times but he wasn't picking up. And his secretary told her that he was at the meeting and couldn't be reached. Sam was getting worried though.

They fell asleep on the couch with Cassie. They made the dinner and left it in the kitchen. They also cleaned the house a bit and made half of the stuff ready for the other day. Christmas decorations and all. But still, there was no Jack O'Neill. They decided to watch a movie and they somehow managed to fall asleep.

Jack was angry indeed. Instead of having one beautiful day with Carter and Cass, he got stuck there. It was so unfair. He was worried that Sam would be pissed. Hell he'd be. And Cassie? She could really be… scary sometimes. He was looking forward to seeing them so much and instead of that he was forced to listen to bunch of angry politicians. Whole day wasted over nothing.

He opened the door to his house and quietly got rid of shoes, coat and jacket, of his tie and hat. And then he found them, there in the living room, lying there, sleeping peacefully. He could be coming back home to this sight more often. He had to admit it to himself, this was his family and he loved having them over. It was so cute, so welcoming and welcomed, so beautiful. Those two curled there, on his couch… he could feel the emotions taking over him.

He brought a blanket and wanted to cover them but Carter woke up. She didn't seem to be up fully, just awoken a bit. She smiled at him immediately, reaching over to caress his face with her fingers. And his knees went weak.

"Hey…" She whispered to him.

"Hey…" He said and kissed her palm softly.

"You're home?"

"Yeah, I'm home…" God that sounded beautiful.

"Good."

"Sorry I missed the lunch…"

"Ts'okay… you can make it up to us. You can make breakfast." She said, nuzzled her face into the little pillow and fell back asleep. Jack was watching that, not knowing whether to cry or smile or do a happy dance. He kept on holding her hand for a moment but then he let her sleep.

He kissed her forehead which made her smile and then moved over to his armchair. He just wanted to be there for a minute, watching those two women, his women. His heart was beating erratically, ready to burst out. She just welcomed him home and felt comfortable enough to fall back asleep. Only one thing could have been better. Well, two. First would be a kiss and second would be finding her sleeping in his bed, not on his couch.

Oh yes, he was pathetic, he knew, but he wanted nothing more than to share his life with her. And it was silly and crazy and not manly at all but he really wanted that. He loved her so much… He really was hoping that this little time off would bring them some changes.

Thinking about her, watching her sleep, he managed to lose the battle with tiredness and fell asleep in that chair. His dreams were filled with wishes and memories.

In the morning Jack woke up and it took him a moment to remember why he wasn't in his bed. When he sat up and looked around, he took in his surroundings and seemed content. But then his brain registered that there were two blue eyes watching him. And when he tried to focus again, he saw Carter, sitting there, looking absolutely adorable, smiling at him. But there was something in her eyes…

"Hi…" She said quietly. She didn't want to wake up Cassie.

"Hey you…" He told her and smiled instantly.

And after few long moments of simply watching each other, he got up, walked over to her and leaned closer so he could whisper something to her.

"I'm gonna take a shower and then start breakfast, okay?"

"Sure." She smiled at him.

He was about to get up and leave her but then he stopped, took in her appearance, leaned back down, kissed her forehead, whispered good morning to her and then, finally, walked away to take the shower.

Sam stayed on the couch. She couldn't believe it. The morning felt so natural, it was almost surreal. Was it even possible? No, it wasn't. But it felt good anyway. Here she was, in Jack's house, sleeping on his couch, smiling sheepishly because he had just kissed her good morning. And he was in the shower now, getting ready to start the day they were about to spend together along with Cassie and Daniel. Shower actually sounded pretty good…

Well, no, she decided she wouldn't go there to those thoughts. Not now. Not yet. But they were so tempting… Jack O'Neill in the shower… It was not like they had never seen each other… less than decent. Oh yeah, some missions really had the tendency to go south the minute they walked through the Gate. But there was still something absolutely incredible about being on Earth and having this sort-of-a-normal life.

She heard the door and then footsteps. So now he was in the kitchen, making them breakfast. What an idea…

Jack knew that he had pushed it a bit in the morning but he couldn't mind less. She didn't kick him for watching her sleep, for kissing her good morning… she just smiled and stayed on the couch. He was one lucky bastard and he knew it.

He heard her coming to him and could only feel anxious about what she would do. And then it happened. Finally the moment of nervous pregnant silence came to them. He sighed and turned around. He was not prepared for the sight though. Seeing her in the morning had always been nice. She could be so cute. But now she was having that dreamy look on her face.

"What are you cooking?"

"Breakfast, you genius."

"Funny…" She said and he just smirked at her. After turning off the stove he just put aside the kitchen towel and looked at her. She was okay, he knew that, but under all the brave acts he could see the tiredness in her eyes, and worries. He knew about her last weeks. She knew he knew… Few accidents, two rescue missions going really bad, one massive explosion that shouldn't have happened…

Sam knew what she wanted. A hug. One simple hug. She couldn't understand how it happened though. Few months back and she wouldn't even be thinking like this. But the slow change in this particular relationship couldn't be ignored. They grew closer. They grew bolder around each other. They didn't have to be that careful anymore. They had opportunities, they had options.

Before Sam knew what was happening, she made a few steps and suddenly found herself enveloped in Jack's arms. And what really pleasantly surprised her was that he was holding her equally as fiercely with a hint of desperation as she was.

"Carter…"

"Yes?" She mumbled into his t-shirt.

And he wanted to tease her, he wanted to make a joke, he wanted to talk about this, about these urges to be close and about everything. In the end he opted for something else though.

"Don't tell a living soul… but I missed ya, Carter." And to make his point he kissed the top of her hair. She just sighed and snuggled closer to him.

"I missed you too, Sir."

"Spoiling the moment, are you?"

"Just teasing…"

"Huh?"

"Jack…" She said and he could just smile. They stood there like that for some time, enjoying the warmth and comfort.

"Can I ask you something?" She said and looked up at him.

"Sure."

"Can you do me a favour?"

"You name it, Carter, it's done…"

"This vacation, the time I'm gonna spend here?"

"Yes?" He asked but got no reply. It looked like she chickened out actually. She even tried to pull away from him but he didn't let her.

"Sam, look at me and tell me what's up."

"I'…"

"Come on… just say it for cryin' out loud."

"I don't want you to hold back."

"Huh?"

"Okay, let me rephrase that… I don't want to hold back. I want to enjoy this as much as possible. Like now. I needed a hug and you hugged me. Just like that. So is there a chance we might be like this?"

"You mean…?"

"I mean can we be just Jack and Sam while I'm here? See if we really can…"

"We can." He told her resolutely. He knew they could. He had no doubts. Not anymore.

"You know it means we will have to talk about some things, right?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam. I want this."

And she could only nod and lean in for another warm hug. This was a good morning actually. They both had their heads full of ideas and thoughts. There was so much to talk about that it was somehow scary. They knew that they had to start somewhere and yes, they would. But not now, not just yet. After all those years of suppressing everything they were really enjoying every minute they could spent together.

"Okay guys, now I'm getting jealous…" Cassie announced after few moments of watching them. She was happy for them but geeez… Jack looked at her, smiled and silently invited her for a group hug. Cassie walked to them and let them hug her.

"Better?"

"Yeah…"

"Missed you, munchkin."

"You ever gonna stop calling me that?"

"No." He told her and she just smacked him playfully. They parted reluctantly and finished getting the breakfast ready. Sam went to take a shower, Cassie changed into some comfortable clothes and Jack just finished everything in the kitchen, humming and smiling.

"When's Daniel coming?" Cassie asked then. Jack looked at the clock on his wall and grinned.

"I'd say any minute. We managed to get him on the first morning flight. So…"

"Cool." Cassie said.

And of course, he arrived soon. Smiling, a bit tired but very excited. They all had breakfast together in the end, joking and laughing all the time. They planned their day. There would be some shopping, tree decorating, movie watching and lots of eating going on.

During the next few hours they kept on trading stories, making jokes, eating all the possible stuff, watching movies… they also went outside to build a snowman and play with the snow a bit. They got so soaked through that Jack started to complain about Antarctica's weather coming to DC so suddenly. They were all having fun though. They were freezing but they were happy. And that just had to count for something.

In the afternoon in started to snow heavily so they decided to stay inside and enjoy all the preparations for big Christmas. So many things would be going on in the city, they had enormous possibilities how to spend their time. Daniel and Cassie were all into visiting some museums, free exhibitions, they all wanted to go to the Midnight Mass and enjoy walk through the night winter city with big cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows. They were simply planning on enjoying this little vacation together.

While Daniel and Cassie were setting up all the stuff in the living room for afternoon marathon of eating cookies and watching old movies, Jack was trying to find Carter. She said she needed a minute and he suspected that she was working. He found her in what had become her room, standing by the window, looking out.

"Carter?"

"Hey…"

She turned around and saw him standing there.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… just thinking…"

"Some things never change, do they?" He smirked. She just giggled, ducked her head for a moment and then reached for his hand. Puzzled a bit, he walked closer and let her pull him close to her.

Before he managed to ask what was going on, she just pulled him down for a kiss. It didn't last long, it wasn't all that passionate and they both knew they could do much much better, but it triggered a lot anyway. She was the one that pulled away first. Their foreheads resting against each other, both breathing heavily, Jack was able only to hold her close to him.

"Carter…"

"I wanted to do that for a very long time…"

"Well me too but … now?"

"Why not?"

"That's your reason?" He was beyond shocked. He looked into her eyes and saw a mischievous sparkle there.

"Do I need a reason?" She asked him, surprised by her own courage. She never thought she would be this bold in her actions. But the looks he gave her afterwards? That was worth everything. He was grinning at her!

It was not like this was the first kiss they had ever shared but this one was the first they could and wanted to share freely, no regulations keeping them apart and making them feel guilty. It was just them and it felt absolutely amazing.

"One of us had to make this step…" She told him then, softly. And he knew she was right. And it had to be her, he wanted her to be the one to do it. Well, she could never be a disappointment, huh?

They were already looking forward to the next step, to the kiss that would move the Earth and make the sun blow.

The day was actually pretty nice in the end. Well, from the first to the last minute, all of it. Pure fun, joy and happiness, the real Christmas magic and spirit. Love and tender care, friendship and all. Besides, as Daniel noticed, something had definitely shifted in Jack and Sam's relationship. More looks, more hugs, touches, leaning against each other, smiling at each other and he even caught them once holding hands. It was so cute!

It was also refreshing. He knew all about their relationship, about the ups and downs, about regulations, implications, decisions, sacrifices, outcomes and all about the pain. He was one of those people that had gone through it all with them. So seeing them like this calmed his heart and brought a bit of peace to his soul. It gave another sense to all the previous years.

During the next few days nothing changed. It was still about fun and spending the time together, exploring the city, watching movies, playing in the snow, ice-skating and just being happy. They gave new and deep meaning to the term vacation.

Jack knew that with every passing hour they were getting closer to the time when he would have to say goodbye to them. And now, more than ever, it would break his heart. He was going to miss them terribly.

During the days, his relationship with Sam changed. A lot. They talked about some things from their early years. Some questions were asked and answers given, but nothing to shift the universe or make the sun blow. No, nothing serious. They were leaving that for another time. If he could pick the time, it would be sometimes in his cabin or somewhere equally as calm, it would be just the two of them and nothing and nobody else. But well, now they couldn't open some gates. No, not now.

Few times Jack even managed to kiss her. Oh and that was something he could get used to very quickly. She was so welcoming and warm, so soft and yet firm under his hands and lips. Intoxicating, radiant and just … herself. Sometimes it would be just a peck on her lips and sometimes a bit more. He was more and more looking forward to the first real kiss. He'd be definitely doomed then but well, he didn't really care. Who would? He knew what he wanted and so far it really looked like she wanted it too.

Now he was man on mission. It was morning already, rather early but not too much and one certain woman was having her birthday. And he had plans…

Before this transfer he couldn't really imagine them together. It used to look like the Universe itself had something against them and their chances. But then things changed and now… here they were, together. And it was about time he told her something very important. They slept together in one bed before, they cuddled and hugged, they cried together, laughed together and at each other, they were trading jokes and stories, teasing and sometimes mean, they had their share of awful fights and disagreements too. They had been put through all possible feelings from happiness through guilt to incredible pain. But now they had their chance. And he would not let anyone or anything destroy it. No, they both deserved this.

It was about time to find how she felt about this.

He knew that Cassie and Daniel were asleep on the couch. They spent the whole evening talking about the gala thing that was coming soon. Cassie was so excited! But Daniel seemed to be on the same wave. He was really looking forward to taking her there, showing her the real elegant ball with men in tuxedos and women in gowns, with flowers and small orchestra. It was something organized by the Ambassador of Morocco and some other people. Daniel got invited because of some work he had done with his team in Africa. Actually, some of the off-world missions helped to solve something Jack really didn't need to know details about there in Africa. And as Daniel said, there was nobody he would want to take along. Except Cassie. And really, she was excited.

She was really happy when she opened her Christmas present.

"_What's this?"_

"_I don't know, ask Santa…"_

"_Ha…" Cassie smirked. She opened the present anyway. And found the jewellery Sam offered her earlier._

"_I thought I could just borrow those… " She was really surprised. Sam just smiled at her._

"_You know the story. My grandma gave them to me when I was a kid. There was just one occasion when I had them on. And you know, I wanted my daughter to have them. I don't have one and who knows if I ever will. But I have you and I love you. So…"_

"_Sam…" Cassie was beyond moved._

"_I talked to Janet about this. I didn't want to interfere or do something stupid but she thought it would be okay so… they're yours if you want them."_

_Instead of answering her, Cassie moved from the ground into her arms and hugged her. They almost fell down from the couch then, both smiling, moved and in mood neither Jack nor Daniel could understand._

Jack was actually glad that Daniel was taking her with him. It could be good for them both. The last year was really tough on them all. Losing Fraiser and then Jacob, Hammond quitting and other things. So they deserved every happy moment they could get. He knew it. And he would do all he could, everything in his powers and beyond to let it happen. He promised he'd take care of them and he would.

Jack knocked on Sam's door and then peeked in. She was still sleeping. He knew that she would wake up soon. He could tell after all the years of waking up next to her. And surely, in few minutes she began to stir. Well, maybe it would be better if she hadn't. She nuzzled her face into the pillow and stretched her arms and legs, she sighed and smiled, like she was waking up from a pleasant dream. And Jack knew he was lost. He loved this woman, this perfect mix of possible and impossible.

Sam opened her eyes and found herself looking at the window. It was clearly morning but the sun was still low so it was early in the morning. But she just had one nice dream and wasn't really ready to get up, not just yet. She wanted to hide under the covers again but then she felt something. Somebody was watching her. She turned slowly and found Jack standing there at the door, watching her.

"Jack, hey…"

"Morning… can I?" He asked a bit sheepishly. She just smiled.

And so closed the door behind him and walked in with cake in his hands, humming the melody of happy birthday to her, still smiling like a complete idiot. Sam was grinning at him, feeling overwhelmed but surely happy. After the years he knew what she liked.

Sam moved on the bed so he could sit down next to her. And he did exactly that.

"Happy birthday, Sam."

"Thank you…" She took the cake from his hands and put it on the night-stand table.

"Jack, can I ask for something?"

"Sure you can, it's your day!" He told her but deep down he was a bit worried. Carter asking…

"Kiss me, Jack." She was so nervous but really, honestly, that was the only thing she wanted. She wanted to make that step and finally say some things out loud. But first, she had waited for that kiss to happen for years.

"I can do that…"

"No holding back. It's my birthday wish…"

And when the awkward moment was supposed to happen, he just tenderly put her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. He breathed in her scent and then felt her gripping his t-shirt. After few gentle kisses on the forehead, eyebrow and just the corner of her lips, he decided to go for it. And so he kissed her.

Sam was surprised a bit at first. Sure, they shared kisses before, but this one was different. Better. Deeper. More passionate and possessive. Her heart was about to explode. And she was grateful that she wasn't standing – she'd have fallen down otherwise. This man knew how to kiss. She was never letting him go.

And as usually, after battle for dominance, they settled for being equals. Hands touching, fingers exploring, mouths possessing, tongues teasing… Sam moaning in pleasure and Jack groaning, both losing the ability to think, they shared the first real kiss. And there was nothing wrong with their memories, nothing wrong with timelines, they were not breaking any rules, well maybe the rules of physics but that was about it.

Jack ended up sitting on the bed more fully, his back against the headboard with Carter melting into his arms, pressed to him, using him as a support.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Feel free to make wishes like this one more often…"

And she giggled into his neck. He was impossible. When she looked up at him, she noticed something. A look. That one particular look.

"You're thinking about something, Carter."

"Yes…"

"And?"

"This look you have…"

"Look?"

"Yes. You had it before. The smug smile on your face and your eyes having that color and all…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh you do… you had that look before. And you actually were looking at me like that when we were trapped in the time loop." She told him, excited that she had connected the dots.

"Huh?" And he blushed. He knew he did. He knew she noticed.

She sat up a bit and took in his appearance. It took her some time but then, eventually, she figured it out. She needed more time than usually but usually there were no fingers caressing her skin and making her forget even her own name.

"You kissed me in one of the time loops, didn't you?"

"What?"

"That's it… you and Teal'c were taking advantage of the situation, right? Having no consequences to face…"

"Carter."

"We kissed."

"Sam…"

"I'm not angry, Jack. I just want to know… if we're trying what is usually labelled as romantic relationship, we really have to work on our communication and trust."

And he couldn't miss the hint there, the doubt and wish. And so he kissed her again to silence that crazy brain she had. She snuggled to him then and he knew this was the time to take the cat out of the bag.

"Yes, I kissed you in the time loop."

"Do I want to know the details?" Before he managed to answer, all the images ran through his head. Well that particular time loop was really perfect.

"Jack?"

"I'm not going to describe it to you, Carter. But maybe once we do something like that and I might just mention this …" And so she smacked him playfully. He was not helping.

"But Sam, we didn't break the regulations."

"Of course, it was in the time loop…"

"No, you don't get it. I resigned before I kissed you."

"Where it happened?"

"In the control room."

"Wow…"

"Yeah, nobody saw that coming… neither did you."

"I bet…. So and where else?"

"Where else what?"

"Come on, you had all the opportunities and you kissed me just once?" She didn't mean to offend him but when she felt him tense, she knew she had screwed up something. Enlacing their fingers, she made him think and talk to her.

Jack knew he had to learn how to talk to her about personal things. They were not really strong in that but they had to work on it. And so he decided to tell her.

"I kissed you just once. And I couldn't again."

"We solved the issue… stopped the time loops."

"Yes. But there's more."

"More?"

"I couldn't forget and I knew it would be killing me for the rest of my life."

"That makes sense…"

"And also I just couldn't … Sam you don't have that memories. I didn't want to, couldn't… do more. Not with you not remembering it. It didn't seem fair. And it really sucked pretty much."

She had to think about it for a moment before she understood. She looked up at him and saw the compassionate lovely man he was. Adorable even. She kissed him gently again. Oh she could definitely get use to that.

She sensed his slight discomfort with the deep personal issue so she asked him about spoons so they could try the cake. Of course he had some along with him. And so they dug in. Yeah, he had mastered this one particular cake through the years. Her favourite birthday treat.

After few minutes Jack reached down next to the bed and gave her small box. It was wrapped in paper with small ribbon over it. He heard her grasp when she saw it.

"Jack…"

"Happy birthday."

She looked up at him and he noticed the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. It worried him actually. But then she smiled and actually laughed a bit. That puzzled him for a change. What was going on with that woman? He could only guess.

"Carter?"

"Cassie was right… wasn't she?"

"Ehm… about what exactly?"

"There's a ring in this box, huh? White gold, little star and little diamond. One beautiful and elegant piece."

The pure shock on his face gave him away. Sam's eyes got even wider so she unwrapped the present and found familiarly looking blue box. She opened it and found a ring sitting there in the soft cushion. And it was white gold with one delicate star decorated with tiny diamond. It was simple, elegant, beautiful as usually. Again by one word perfect.

"How did she know?" He asked, completely bewildered.

And so Sam told him the story about the time in Springs, about the packing and about finding the perfect jewels for Cassie's big night and all.

"She's way too smart…" Jack observed.

Sam wanted to answer him, really, she wanted to, but somehow she couldn't. She kept on tracing the line of the ring with her finger, watching it and Jack was sure she was thinking about something. He was sitting on the bed right next to her and in the last few minutes she just moved closer, nestled to his side and let him put arm around her to keep her close.

"Will you tell me?" She asked then, softly. It was almost a whisper. He moved his hand to her hair and started to play with it. He knew what she was talking about. Maybe it really was the time to come out and tell her. Well, she deserved to know anyway.

"I don't know when it started, not really, Sam. It just happened. I wanted to keep it quiet but then…"

"Then we had to face it, confess and pretend it hadn't affected us at all."

"Yeah… it had me thinking you know? Really thinking. And after you saved me and Teal'c from that glider, after the nice little chat we had, Janet forced me to take some time off. So I went to visit an old friend."

"I remember… you said something about his wife making some good pies and cakes."

"Yeah… I'm sure that I did..."

"So?" She knew she was not supposed to push. It would be way too easy for him to fall back into their old routine and close up again, not telling her anything. But she really wanted to know. And he seemed to be willing to share it with her.

"I saw something over at his place. He owns a jewellery you know? He's pretty talented, as his wife is. They make quite a pair actually."

"What was it?"

"Those earrings. I saw them and knew they had been made for you. And after what you told me? I just had to, Carter." He paused a bit. Sam was ready to kiss him and hug him. He was so sweet! But she knew there was more so she decided to wait patiently.

"When I asked about them, Kate showed me this ring. I couldn't get it out of my head."

"What were you thinking about that time?"

"That maybe, just maybe, the war we were fighting could be over soon and that maybe I could actually ask you out and give you the ring eventually."

"So you had a plan. You gave me the earrings hoping that we would… and then in a year or so…"

"Yeah..." He admitted finally. What he didn't expect was his voice betraying the depth of his emotions. And well, Carter touching his face and making him look at her. Without a word she kissed him gently, tenderly. She just wanted to show him how much this meant to her.

"I don't know what to say, Jack… it's … so sweet." And then he could hear the emotions in her voice as well. At least he wasn't in it alone.

"No, it was crazy! I really thought back then that it would be over and that it would work out. But it didn't."

"Hey… we're here now, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I know… but still."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What about the rest of it? You know, I have quite a collection now." She smiled at him and bit her lip. She had an idea about the origin of her beautiful jewels but still it was nice to have the possibility of asking.

"Every year Mike made another piece to match the rest."

"Oh Jack…"

And she would never understand why but this gesture made her heart swell and the love she was feeling grew even stronger. He kept on wishing and hoping and he kept the ring and all. Sam knew they had a lot to talk about. Everything from the Zat'arc thing through losing Janet and her father to their failed attempts of having other relationships. But now she was content. She was there, with him, knowing his heart had belonged to her – always. She snuggled to him and felt the tension leaving his body. He kissed her hair.

Jack knew that they should have talked about at least one more thing. He just couldn't bring himself to open up more. He shared this with her and it felt good, really, but still this was whole new territory for them and they needed time to create their own shared comfort zone. He was grateful that she could understand that. He loved her so much…

How was he supposed to bring the subject up, huh? She was having a ring now, one that was supposed to be engagement ring. Except it wasn't now. It was just regular birthday-present-ring.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, we actually never really talked about some things."

"I know."

"We will have to, one day, if we want this relationship to work."

"Well, I was thinking either my cabin for at least a week or some nice paradise planet, what do you think?"

"You and me and paradise on a different planet? That just wouldn't work. Something would surely go wrong with our luck…"

"You have a point there…"

"So I'd say it's your cabin then."

"Carter, it will be exhausting and difficult."

"I know. But worth it, don't you think?" She asked him and kissed his neck. He sighed and made her look up at him. Their eyes locked, silent conversation passed between them. Oh yeah, everything was worth this. Soon smile crept up to her face and with a gleam in her eye she pulled him down for another kiss. It left them breathless for a moment. Jack surely needed time to find his equilibrium again. There was something about her …

"Sam, just one thing."

"What?"

"Something I wanted to tell you a long time ago but couldn't. Now I can and I want you to know…"

"What is it?"

"I love you." He didn't know what to expect then. Well, it was pretty obvious he was having feelings for her but never, not even once he had vocalized them like this. To his relief she smiled at him and nodded.

"That's good cause you know what? I love you too." After that he could only grin back at her. This day was definitely one of the best ones ever! And it was still morning.

"You know, with me being here, things will get complicated…"

"If anyone can handle complicated, it's us."

"You know, they might see this as… well…"

"Don't even finish that sentence."

"Sam…"

"If they do, I can still ask for transfer. They're practically begging me to take over R&D. We have options, Jack. I'm not willing to let this go away. Not again, not ever…" And she hated how broken and weak that sounded. She couldn't be that desperate, could she? Instead of saying anything, he just kept on caressing her skin. It calmed her down.

"So… we're…"

"Together?"

"Yeah, together."

"I guess we are."

And with that they kissed once more. This kiss was long and full of promises of things to come later. They didn't even notice somebody watching them.

Daniel woke up and wanted to talk to Jack about surprising Sam with presents and cake. He found Cassie, also awake but they couldn't find Jack. In the end he decided to try and check out Sam's room. He knocked but there was no response. He tried again and still nothing. He decided to take a quick look before panicking about Jack being kidnapped or something as crazy as that. He wasn't prepared for _that_.

Jack was sitting on the bed next to Sam, leaning against the headboard, having Sam in his arms. They were kissing, slowly and lovingly, their hands caressing. It was act of pure love and tender care. It made him blush. He wanted to look away but something in him just got so damn happy that he couldn't. So after what, eight years of working together, those two finally could find the peace they longed for so long? And also – each other.

He saw them pull away, eyes closed, lips curled into two identical smiles. The moment was perfect and he just wished he had his camera with him. He assumed that they would resume this later. Now was time to have a morning birthday party.

"Found him!" Daniel yelled back into the house. He startled both occupants of the bedroom. Before they managed to say something, Cassie appeared at the door. Once she saw the scene in front of her, she was grinning instantly. Jack looked at Sam, giving her apologetic warm smile and then he reached down for the cake… and for two other spoons.

"Cake, anyone?" He asked nonchalantly. And so they all ended up sitting on the bed, eating the cake together, talking, smiling, laughing. Nobody said a word about the obvious development in Sam and Jack's relationship. No, they all knew that there was one thing really necessary to let this blossom and develop – time.

"So, presents time?" Cassie asked and Sam just smiled at her. In a few second she was grinning, actually looking forward to her birthday this year. The day was awesome so far.

They all went away to bring their presents. In the meantime Sam retrieved the one she got from George Hammond, the one her father had left for her. She was ready to take a look, but she didn't want to be alone to do so. Soon others came back.

"Take this one first."

"Cassie…"

"First – Happy birthday, Sam!" And she hugged her tightly. "And second thing – this one is not from me."

"What?"

"I found it among… mom's stuff you know? Long time ago. But she had it labelled as a birthday present so I waited."

Sam was really curious about this one. Her hands were shaking a bit. She missed Janet terribly. She couldn't fight with the wrapping paper. Jack sat back to his original position and put one of his arms around her. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. With a deep breath Sam opened it and found a book there. And a letter. She opened the letter first and began to read it out loud.

"_Sam,me __and __you__ are __friends...__you __fight, __I __fight__… __you__ hurt, __I __hurt... __you__ cry, __I __cry... __You__ jump__ off __a __bridge... I'm __gonna __miss__ you!__"_ And with tears in her eyes she laughed at that, as did others. Leave it to Janet to say something like that, huh? The letter had a PS. It said:_" __I__ might __put __you__ in __a __Sarcophagus __to __revive__ you __and __then __kill __you __myself __for __doing __such__ a __stupid __thing! __Love __you, __Janet__"_

Nobody said a word about the tears in Sam's eyes. Well, she wasn't the only one with this particular problem. She opened the book then and gasped in shock.

"Carter?"

"Ehm… It's a cookbook."

"Cookbook?"

"Yes… it's her collection of recipes with apples."

"Oh … that apple pie with white chocolate chips?"

"Among other things, I'm sure it's there. She put it all together…"

"And dedicated to you cause she knew that you had a thing for apples." Jack finished. Sam just nodded.

Little they knew that one recipe was special. It was Janet's own invention. It was combination of few things that, put together, in the end would create a wedding cake for two special people she loved. Oh yes, she had always been hoping that Sam and Jack would find a way. And subtly telling them to do something about it finally by creating a wedding cake for them? Wow.

"Well… my present sucks right now." Daniel said. He gave it to Sam anyway. She opened the heavy box with curious look. And inside she found one piece she was missing to finish her bike. It was very rare thing, hard to get and she really wanted it. She just couldn't come across it.

"Daniel how did you…?"

"So you like it, huh?"

"I love it!" She hugged him then and made them all laugh. Only Samantha Carter would be thrilled from a cookbook and piece of old junk for her bike.

Cassie gave her some special cosmetics she knew Sam really liked. Sam thanked her. She knew it had to be difficult for her, especially because this was the brand Janet had been using. They all had fallen for it during one day at SPA. Cassie just smiled and wished her happy birthday. Then, expectantly, she looked at Jack.

"So what do you have for her?"

"He already gave me a present…"

"And who says it was the only one, Carter?" He asked her, grinning. Oh yeah, he still could surprise her.

"What?"

"Come on Sam, he does this every year. One present for your eyes only and then some more regular one…" Daniel commented. Cassie nodded, agreeing. Sam on the other hand blushed. They really knew that? From the bit uncomfortable look on Jack's face, he was having the same issue accepting this as she did. Those presents were not meant to be … known like this. Anyway, he gave her something.

"Sir?"

"Happy birthday."

She opened it and found a paper there. It looked really exquisite, rich. When she unrolled it her eyes got teary again. She looked at him and then back at the paper.

"Sam, what is it?"

"It's a confirmation from International Star Registry."

"What?" Daniel couldn't believe it. "You named a star after her?"

"No, not exactly…"

"Come on, Sam, tell us…" Cassie begged. But Sam couldn't. Her throat was closed, she was overwhelmed and ready to break down and cry. She just didn't know how to react to it. Talk about perfect gift.

"Yes, I wanted to name star after her." Jack started, not looking at them, only at Carter. She was still staring at the paper but he knew that soon she would look up and search his eyes for some answers. He didn't want to talk in front of Daniel and Cassie but well, nothing to lose now, huh?

"Flower wasn't enough, huh?" Daniel smirked. Jack could be such a romantic sap sometimes!

"Anyway…." Jack tried to continue, "I found this place. The name of the star there is Miaplacidus. Astronomical one is Beta Carinae. It means peaceful waters."

They didn't need to know that the name had reminded him of eyes of certain Air Force officer he happened to fall in love with. He would tell her, maybe, later.

"So how did you name it?"

"He named them after my mom and my dad…"

Daniel and Cass were in shock. What? Really? They couldn't believe it. Sam looked at Jack for the first time since opening this gift.

"Why?" She asked him.

"I wanted to name one after you but then we lost Jake. And there was this chance for naming those two close together and it just… felt right."

He couldn't really express himself. He felt like an idiot. He made her cry and she didn't really look happy. Besides Danny and Cass were there, watching the scene. That was really humiliating. He was ready to apologize when he felt her move. She turned to face him and hugged him. He held her to him. She thanked him then, making it very clear that this present was indeed a perfect one. She was having one perfect birthday.

Cassie noticed one present still wrapped though.

"You wanted to open the one from grandpa?" She asked her. Sam left the sanctuary of Jack's arms and turned to face them again. She nodded and then proceeded with the opening.

"What is it?"

"It's a picture frame."

"Oh, dad…" Sam whispered.

"Carter?" Jack asked her.

"You don't wanna know."

"Really?" He asked again.

"Well… might embarrass you."

"I'll risk it… I think." He wasn't sure at all though.

"My grandparents had one like this. My parents too. And my brother got one when he was getting married… it's a family tradition, you know? Picture frame for the wedding picture." She explained and saw him blushing a bit. She warned him though!

Daniel was laughing at him, trying not to read too much into it. But it was obvious that old Jake knew his daughter very well.

Maybe the universe just decided to play matchmaker for awhile. At first Janet's recipe for a wedding cake. Then this picture frame. And then there was the ring… the ring that Cassie actually noticed on the nightstand, sitting there on the cushion. She squealed then, happy to see it.

"I was right! There was a ring missing!" And Sam could only nod at her.

"So…?"

"So what?" Jack asked back.

"Come on… is it a ring? Just a ring? Or THE ring?" She asked, obviously thinking they had decided what to do about it. The shocked look on both Jack and Sam's faces told her that nope… they hadn't. Daniel sensed the discomfort and wanted to do something about it… but the only thing he could think about was to leave those two alone and let them deal with it. He nudged Cassie and they walked away, the couple barely noticing.

When they were alone, Sam sat up a bit so she was facing him.

"You having a nice time?"

"Jack… best birthday ever… but don't … "

"What do you want me to say?"

"Well, is it just a ring?"

And he knew that once more he would have to tell her the truth.

"You know it was not supposed be just a ring."

"I know…"

"But now? I don't want to rush into anything. I want to take this step by step."

"We waited for years…" She tried to reason with him.

"Yeah and we have issues we have to solve before taking this any further. I don't want to screw this up, Sam. You're too important to me, I care too much."

And after that confession she could only lean it and kiss him, yet again. Oh she was becoming addicted to that. Was it bad?

"I love you, Jack."

"I know… God, I know."

"So what do you say about this… now it can be just a ring, beautiful and perfect birthday present. And then when you ask… yes, when, not if, when you ask, I can put it onto the right finger."

"I knew you were smart…" He smirked. He liked her way of thinking.

"Just promise me something."

"What?"

"When you ask, we're going to visit that friend of yours."

"Why?" He was puzzled.

"Because we will need matching rings. And I'd like them to match the collection you two had created for me."

And with that he could live. He was grinning at her, his eyes sparkling. God he loved this woman! She just agreed to marry him once they're ready to take that step. She was in, he was in, they both were. And it felt amazing.

Outside the room Cassie was talking to Daniel. They figured that Jack was probably having the ring since the beginning, just not knowing how to give it to her. They figured that those two had to talk about what to make out of the ring anyway.

"I think they'll leave it as a normal ring for now."

"And then once he proposes…"

"It will be an engagement ring."

"I hope it won't take him long… you know, another what, six or seven years?" Cassie asked and Daniel had to agree. Hopefully things would go a little faster now.

"Hey… you okay?" He noticed her eyes and the somehow sad expression on her face. She just walked into his arms and let him hug her.

"It's just… mom would be so happy, you know? Really happy."

"I know… well, Jacob too." And after a minute or two of silent support they decided to go and change and maybe even try to persuade those two to come with them. They were heading up for some spiced coffee and hot chocolate, ice-skating and fun.

Cassie knocked on the door and asked "Is it safe to come in?" which made both Jack and Sam grin pretty much. She walked in and found them half-lying, half-sitting in the bed, Sam curled next to him. It seemed to her that they finally were having their peace. When they saw her, they moved, Sam sat up fully and Jack stayed where he was. But now his hand was caressing the skin on her back. Casual and loving tender moment. Oh he loved it.

"Hmm… that means you're not coming with us for a little walk, huh?"

"Walk?"

"Yeah… just a little walk through Christmas DC. And we are planning on some ice-skating and on hot chocolate definitely." Daniel added as he appeared at the door.

"Sure we're coming with you." Sam said, smiling.

"We are?" Was the reply from Jack. Sam just hit him with a pillow then, making him laugh. Sam got up from the bed which was followed by grunt from Jack. Daniel was about to follow Cassie and leave the room but he had to make one simple comment.

"You know, guys, for what is worth? I think it's really great. I mean it. I'm happy for you two." And Sam knew he meant it. She wanted to walk over and gave him a hug but he closed the door and left them there. She had no idea about what was happening to her, she was all touchy this morning, her emotions on the roof. She looked back at Jack and found him looking at her. Actually, he was pretty emotional and talkative this morning as well. Something in the air, perhaps?

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Sir…"

"I like Jack better." He told her.

"You know we will have to make it up to them one day…"

"Why?"

"Because we caused them a lot of trouble through the years… they're our friends." And he nodded. He agreed. He knew, oh he knew…

"Aren't you going to get up?" Sam asked then.

"Nope… I'm pretty comfy here…"

"I have to change." She stated matter-of-factly.

"I know… feel free to start." He told her, grinning.

"Oh no, you're not watching…"

"I am not?"

"Out." She said and pointed her finger at the door.

"Huh?" He couldn't believe. Would she really do that? Now?

"Sorry… Out, Sir." She tried again. Her smile gave her away but Jack got up anyway. He walked outside the room only to hear the door being closed. He could only think about how good it felt not to be alone in this house… that and well, that he was very happy. But what did he just got himself into?

_"The best possible thing in your life, you old lucky bastard."_ His inner voice whispered. And Jack knew this voice was right. With a grin he walked into his bedroom to change. They had a beautiful day ahead of them, he was sure of that.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** So it got a bit out of hand, sorry… pure fluff, I told you :o) Hope you're not disappointed by the ring thing… and that you liked it. I know, more could be coming - but it won't , at least not now. As I said – if you're missing something, tell me. As for me this story is done – was supposed to be about the presents and the slow change and development of their relationship :o))_


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